We often search for validation and love in external sources, forgetting that the most crucial relationship we’ll ever have is with ourselves.
So, let’s change the narrative together.
In a world that constantly bombards us with unrealistic standards and expectations, we lose touch with our authentic selves and start believing we’re not enough.
With years of experience in helping individuals embrace their true selves, I’ve seen firsthand the transformative power of self-love.
You’re here because you’re ready to embark on a journey of self-love and acceptance.
You seek meaningful, introspective questions that challenge you to look within.
In this article, you’ll discover 20 powerful self-love questions that are more than just queries – they’re stepping stones to a deeper relationship with yourself.
20 Self Love Questions to Ask
Practicing self love is a deeply soulful act.
Here are 20 questions to ask because awareness is the first step to transforming your life.
Your level of self-love will increase as your awareness increases and your commitment to self-love grows.
These self love affirmations will help you.
The self-love questions to ask below can be a starting point for your journey toward greater self-love and self-acceptance.
Also, here are journal prompts for self-love.
1. Do I deserve love?
Your first, quick answer might be.. of course I do!
So, ask on a deeper level.
Do I, in my heart, believe that I deserve love?
Ask: Can I attract a harmonious, satisfying love?
Can you have too much self love? Not really! narcissism and entitlement are not self love:)
2. Do I deserve prosperity?
Same thing here… go a bit deeper and ask your soul!
Ask yourself on a deeper, soul level.
Do I, in my heart, believe that I deserve prosperity and that I have the ability to create it?
Then, just sit with the answer.
There will be times you feel abundant and other times you don’t. What situations create the feelings of “lack” within you?
Think of certain people, situations, environments, fears.
3. Do I treat myself with kindness and compassion?
As you go through your day, do you have kind thoughts about yourself?
Do you have compassion for your tiredness, anger, and fear?
Be a work in progress, working on the emotions you want to release, and being kind to yourself along the way.
4. Is my self-talk harsh and critical?
How you talk to yourself matters… a lot! If your self-talk tone is harsh and critical, it’s like living with your mean godmother!
You will not thrive with negative self-talk… so practice positive self-talk.
5. What 3 qualities do I value in myself?
As you recognize and own what you value in yourself, you grow in self-love. So list those qualities and remind yourself daily. For example, I’m strong, persistent, and hard-working.
Write down your 3 qualities, and they can change, and put it on your refrigerator!
6. Is self care a priority in my life?
But, you’re busy right?
If you’re not prioritizing self-care, it probably won’t happen. So it a priority and watch self-love grow as you feel loved and cared for.
7. Do I set boundaries with others so that I can take care of myself?
Are you so worried about what others think, that you don’t have healthy boundaries? Be mindful of this within yourself.
And when you notice that you’ve let others walk all over you and invade your much needed space, ask: What do I need here?
Do I need time, rest, to turn off completely, space to think…
8. How often do I overthink conversations with others?
Overthinking conversations takes a lot of energy. It’s exhausting. I know, because it used to be a habit of mine!
You tend to overthink conversations because you’re afraid you said something wrong.
So, when you catch yourself overthinking… Stop and breathe.
Then, notice… what am I feeling?
Overthinking conversations is often because you’re afraid of losing someone or losing respect and approval.
9. Do I do what I love at times during the day?
Be sure you’re spending time doing what you love. Whether it’s writing, walking, sitting, creating, resting, or visiting with someone… make time for it.
You’ll notice that as you make time for what you love, you’ll love and respect yourself more.
10. When I fail, am I really hard on myself?
We all fail and failure is an opportunity to learn about ourselves… However, do you turn this opportunity into a self-doubt spiral?
I get it.
I wrote an entire book about a caterpillar who doesn’t believe she can be a butterfly. That’s deep doubt.
So, just notice when you’re too hard on yourself because of a failure. At least you had the courage to try something new!
At least you challenge yourself!
11. Do I express and release uncomfortable emotions?
This is a big deal.
At this time… emotional well-being and having “the feels” is a popular topic, but I wonder if people are doing more than just talking about having the “feels”.
What does that even mean?
It’s healthy to feel what you feel, for as long as you need, WITH the intention of healing and letting go.
Without that intention, you may hold on forever to your anger, fear, and anxiety.
12. Is “no” an okay answer for me?
When you say “no”, do you feel bad? For more than like 5 minutes?
Is the no you delivered telling you that you’re not nice?!?
Saying no all of the time may mean that you need to hide in the Alps for a while, and that’s fine!
Practicing self love is that saying no is a perfectly acceptable answer.
13. Do I recognize my small achievements without minimizing them?
When you have a small win, do you pat yourself on the back? True self love says: Please do.
As a life coach for 25 years, I’d hear people say something they did THAT MATTERED TO THEM… then say: But, it’s no big deal.
You don’t have to waive a banner that says: I’m amazing because I cleaned the bathroom, but you can say to yourself: I feel good about finally clearing the bathroom.
14. Do I feel like I’m not as good as others?
It’s pretty much human nature to compare ourselves to others.
However, are you doing it all of the time… and when you do, do you come out looking like you’re not good enough?
Or, like you’re not smart enough, talented enough, efficient enough…
Just notice because self-love is a journey along the “enough-ness” scale.
15. What am I confident about in myself?
Note what you’re confident about. Are you organized? Are you fearless?
Are you a good cook or baker?
Find what you’re confident in and lean into your strengths.
16. How much time do I give to myself?
If you’re a mom with kids at home… this answer will probably be: Very little!
I get it.
Just be sure that you’re carving out some time each day for you to feel good vibes🙂
It can be right before bed. Yea, I know, you’re exhausted!
It’s a matter of priorities… make some time each day that’s quiet and restful for you.
17. Is my self-talk compassionate?
Again, positive self-talk is critical for self-love.
In particular, you’ll want your self-talk to be compassionate.
If you’re human, you’ve walked through storms, struggles, loss, possibly trauma, and you’ve survived!
Have compassion for yourself.
18. Do I choose to be with people who lift me up, listen, and support me?
Who you choose to be around will tell you A LOT about how self-loving you are.
If you allow yourself to be with people who minimize or dismiss you, please don’t!
It’s self-loving to be with people who are also self-loving… it’s a journey for all of us for sure, but choose to be in that journey with people who are walking as fast as you are.
19. Do I feel shame about something from my past?
If you’re carrying shame about something in your past, and you’re not working on healing it?
You’re not alone.
But, so that you don’t have to carry that heavy weight forever, you’ll want to work on healing that.
So, ask yourself what you’re doing to heal past shame and guilt?
Shame is one of the lowest energy emotions that exists. See Power vs. Force by Dr. David Hawkins for his Map of Human Consciousness where he has the energy levels for different emotions.
20. Is there something I would like to forgive myself for, but I can’t?
Self-forgiveness is a sacred act. It takes time. These things go deep.
And, we forgive ourselves so that we can get into the present and be who we are capable of being.
As you drag yourself through the dirt for things you regret, you stay stuck.
I recommend… moving into a state of allowing self-forgiveness.
Self care is key
Practicing self care is an important part of self love. But, how much self-care will fill your own cup and create a happy life?
Is self care brushing your teeth?
But, is that enough?
No! It’s not!
The Oxford Dictionary states that self-care is “The practice of taking an active role in protecting one’s own well-being and happiness, in particular during periods of stress.”
Self love affirmations program your brain for self love
What you tell yourself you believe! Self love affirmations need to be part of your daily self-care routine.
So, use self love affirmations to program your brain for self-love.
Why radical self love?
According to Within Health, “Radical self-love involves accepting yourself, caring for yourself, and knowing you are more than enough, and inherently worthy of love, respect, and compassion.”
Knowing that you’re inherently worthy of love is an important part of the self love journey.
The term radical self love has gained acceptance because we live in a world where many view self love as selfish, so we need to be radical in our opposition to others opinions sometimes.
Self love is showing up for yourself each day even though you’re imperfect, afraid, and you struggle at times.
Unconditional self-love is loving yourself no matter what.
You can be disappointed in yourself, regret something you’ve done, and still love yourself.
Practicing self love is facing your challenges and weaknesses with kindness, self esteem, and self compassion.
Self-love is obviously imperative at any age, and if you’re turning 40, it’s a great time to assess your level of self-love since it’s a great time of introspection.
Be your own best friend.
You will have more love to give as you love yourself.