To be your true self, look to the place of truth within you, in an important place many of us call the soul.
As hard as it is to picture, this intangible part of you is very real.
But, being your true self is not as easy as it sounds.
There are SO MANY choices in life… and we’re not always clear which choice is the authentic choice.
Meaning, when we choose what is best for the highest good and greatest healing of ourselves and others. This isn’t always easy to uncover.
Your true self is in the soul.
Your true self is in the soul.
Picture the soul as a seed within you.
The seed is there, planted and eager to grow. But the seed needs water, fertilizer, and sunlight.
And you must be true to yourself, so that at the end of your life, or midway through, you don’t feel like your life was all wrong.
5 ways to be your true self.
As a lover of the soul, being true to yourself is everything.
Here are 5 ways to be your true self. Here we go!
1. Be true to how you feel.
As you’re true to how you feel, you’re being your true self. Because your feelings are a big part of who you are.
For example, if you’re afraid, you acknowledge it. If you’re feeling insecure, feel that instead of ignoring or judging the emotion.
And, you don’t have to feel your emotions in front of people if you don’t want to!
Part of being your true self is feeling emotions in a way that is safe for you.
So, feel what you feel, even though it’s uncomfortable or painful. However, if you’re not ready, then respect that and wait until you are ready.
Because we feel it to heal it. That’s how the body is made.
Emotions are energy, and while they can be uncomfortable and we feel stuck in them, there are many effective ways to release painful emotional energy from the body, so you can be free and be your true self.
2. Say what you need to say.
Have you ever been in a conversation where you were upset and didn’t say anything? Maybe you didn’t stick up for yourself, take a stand, or you weren’t your true self?
If you choose conflict carefully, as I do, then maybe you’ve held back at times. That’s totally fine! You don’t have to take a stand just to prove something.
But, when something is important to you, to be your true self, you might feel better if you say what’s in your heart and mind. The soul wants you to express what matters to you.
There are some subjects, issues, and ideas that you’ll be compelled to share, and driven to talk about. In those times, be your authentic self.
Part of being your true self is choosing to speak up or act when something is important to you. Whether in a close relationship or with strangers.
And if it’s not that important to you and you want to keep your thoughts to yourself, then that’s your truthful choice!
As long as you’re not allowing fear to drive all of your choices. Being your true self means facing your fear.
The medical intuitive, Carolyn Myss, says, that we’re usually acting from love or fear. So, I check in with myself before I say something that’s emotionally charged for me, to see if I’m in a safe place.
3. Heal your life.
One of our main purposes is to heal the past. The recent or distant past.
Because we have lessons to learn in life.
Louise Hay coined it with her tagline, Heal Your Life. Because as you heal, you leave the past behind you and you’re able to be your true self.
Instead of reacting to the past, we love ourselves and create the life that is meant for us.
Figuring out what you need to heal takes some time. To uncover this, look at what gets you the most upset and bothered. What makes you angry? What are you most afraid of? Be your true self and heal what’s there to be healed.
So, commit to having a close, honest, loving relationship with yourself.
As a way to get your thoughts and feelings down, keep a journal and write about yourself, your day, relationships, dreams, goals, fears, etc.
Bring emotions to the surface.
As you bring uncomfortable emotions to the surface, you are able to feel the energy of the emotions and let it go.
Not quickly… it takes time and patience, but you can do it. If you feel you can’t do it alone, get the help of a good therapist or ask a trusted friend or family member.
You can also rely on your spiritual team to help you. In Rebecca Rosen’s book Spirited, she talks about your spiritual team.
4. Give what’s in your soul.
Your soul has a reason for being here. And there are things your soul wants to give.
As your relationship with yourself deepens over time, you will figure this out.
Ask yourself this question: What do I feel I must do? And if I don’t do it, give it, share it, or express it, my life will feel incomplete?
Each of us has something to give. We really do. And it’s a joy in life to give it.
Your true self
As you give what you feel called to give, as you share your expertise, experience, research, education, talents, and passion, you’re doing what you’re created for.
5. Be true to the life you are meant to live.
There’s a plan for your life… an outline of what is possible. The emphasis is on what’s possible.
It’s not automatically going to happen.
The Death of Ivan Ilyich
One of the greatest writers of all time is Leo Tolstoy. And he’s not just a phenomenal writer and storyteller, many people consider him a spiritual leader as well.
Leo Tolstoy wrote about man’s connection to his own spirit, without saying it straight out. He wrote about deeper matters of the heart and soul.
In Tolstoy’s The Death of Ivan Ilyich, on his deathbed, Ivan asks himself: Was my life all wrong?
That’s a sobering thought to have before you take your last breath.
When your life feels wrong for you.
Have you felt like your life is wrong for you?
Like you’re being false?
Possibly you’re doing things that don’t fit who you are. Don’t worry, not everything you do is going to be fun or feel like a super fit… and boy, this is me.
Many steps in life are stepping stones to something else. But, at least you’re learning and growing along the way toward something that will use your talents and gifts. It’s all part of your soul’s path.
But, when you keep doing something year after year that you don’t like, and it doesn’t help you learn and grow, and it doesn’t nourish your deeper hunger for expression in this life, then it might be a sign that you’re not being true to yourself.
This is what happened with Ivan Illyich. He didn’t pay attention to what he truly needed or desired.
While Ivan Ilyich was successful by most standards in life, he wondered if he lived the wrong life.
He was a respected judge, had a beautiful family, and was rich, but he wondered if it was the life he was meant to live.
Meant to live… implies fate.
Fate is the thing we wonder about… is my life laid out before I was born?
It’s a big topic by itself, and not the point of this post, but Ivan was questioning if he lived the life that was for him.
Why is Ivan struggling?
- Possibly, because he wasn’t his true self.
- He was a judge, maybe he wishes he owned a coin shop.
- Ivan was married, maybe his marriage wasn’t what he wanted and he had no idea how to fix it.
- Also, he was a father and wasn’t as close with his children as he wished he was.
- To be your true self, you want to make the most of the close relationships in your life.
Did I live the life that was possible for me?
Many of us wish that at the end of our life, we can look back and feel we were true to ourselves. We hope we’ve lived the life that was possible for us.
And sadly, Ivan Ilyich wasn’t happy with the life he was about to complete.
Furthermore, his sense of self was a mystery to him.
He wondered, who am I?
When someone takes an honest look at their life and realizes they didn’t speak their truth, they weren’t honest about the things that mattered, their feelings were buried, and the path they took felt like it belonged to someone else, it’s a sad moment.
Pondering the bigger questions in life.
When someone ponders life from their deathbed… they might wonder if they had been their true selves.
Most likely, many of us are talking to the deepest part of ourselves.
And we’re talking to something greater than ourselves.
Many people might be fine with their lives in general.
In general, they feel fortunate to have what they have.
Yet, they have a gnawing feeling they didn’t fully live their life.
But, if you’ve been true to yourself, you don’t have to carry that sad feeling.
Gifts of being true to yourself.
As you grow in self-love and you’re able to be your true self… your relationship with yourself is honest and not critical. You feel connected to the universe and listen to your higher self.
Overall, you believe your life is connected to something outside of you that runs through you. And self-expression flows more easily.
Being your true self is living close to the soul.