Feeling down or out of touch with yourself? You’re not alone. In today’s surfacey world, maintaining a positive self-image can be a challenge.
For a variety of reasons, many of us struggle with self-esteem and/or self-worth issues.
As a successful life coach and author, with years of experience in personal development, I’ve helped countless individuals rediscover their confidence and inner strength.
You want practical and effective ways to uplift yourself, to find that spark of joy within.
Below, I share 5 powerful tips that are proven strategies to help you feel better about yourself. Get ready to feel better about yourself. You deserve it.
Phew, I feel better just writing that:)
And as you care for yourself in this deeper, life-affirming way, you’re experiencing connection and aliveness.
You experience the part of life that can’t be explained…
How to feel better about yourself.
It wasn’t until the moment I stumbled upon caring for my soul... that a glimmer of something true, something deeper, and something eternally satisfying emerged within me.
Why does the soul offer so much?
Because this part of you knows the truth about you and your specific place in the world.
AND because… this part of you is connected to the unlimited.
And, this part of you has the power to overcome any self-doubt you have.
It’s soulful when you lean into your soul 100%.
How to feel better about yourself comes naturally as you care for your soul.
So, here are some ways to feel better about yourself that will serve the soul.
1. Avoid negative self-talk
In my book, The Thought Store: 8 Simple thinking habits for work and life, people in this fictional, futuristic town are slowly dying of negative thinking.
They are solidifying… turning to stone because their thought patterns are so negative:(
Now, while this is fiction… negative thinking is actually very serious!
Pay attention to your thoughts. What are you saying to yourself?
Become aware of your thoughts and how they affect you. Are you constantly putting yourself down? Are you rejecting yourself?
How to recognize self-rejection is thoughts like these:
I’m not good enough, smart enough, talented enough.
I always make that mistake.
I’m the worst.
I’ll never get it right.
Beware of words like ALWAYS and NEVER… they generalize about you and others and it’s usually inaccurate!
You get the tone of this right? There’s no self-respect here… you’re throwing yourself under the bus!
Notice the tone of your voice.
Pay attention to the way you talk to yourself.
Are you being harsh or critical in tone when you talk to yourself?
Tone is soooo important!
Have you ever received a text and you’re wondering… what do they mean by this?
The tone is unclear…
You can infer something positive or negative… well your mind is doing the same thing!
The same thing happens with low self-esteem. The tone becomes harsh and critical.
It feels like #$%@!
It’s like your mom is being critical of how you did something… My mom is NOT this way, but I’ve heard stories…. and yea, I’m a mom and a work in progress:)
Instead, in your self-talk be kind and compassionate. And if you’re being harsh, try to be more gentle with yourself. Think: Gentle!
Think of your sweet soul bouncing around you, hearing the negative thinking and wondering: when is she or he going to lighten up?
Identify patterns in your self-talk.
Once you’re aware of your negative thoughts, try to identify the patterns in them.
For example, I have this negative thought pattern of being angry.
So, when something happens that reminds me of the past, I go straight to being pissed off.
This takes time… no silver bullet here.
But, when you recognize where your mind quickly goes, you can notice that next time and catch yourself. Feel what is real, and choose a high-vibe thought.
Be mindful of which emotions are happening more often. And use emotional release techniques to help yourself mend your heart and let go.
Challenge your negative thinking
Are your negative thoughts really true?
Thinking Habit #2 in The Thought Store is: Ask yourself if what you’re thinking about is true.
Here’s an excerpt:
When I am having negative thoughts, I asked myself: what am I thinking about is it true? I know that sometimes I have myself upset and worked up over a thought that is not true at all.
When I assume, I make huge leaps in my thoughts. For example, my friend didn’t call me back… I’m not important enough. My coworker didn’t smile at me… she must be angry.
Dr. Daniel Amen, the famous brain researcher speaks about this quite a bit encourages his patients and followers to ask themselves if their rotten thoughts are actually true?
When you have a negative thought, ask yourself: Is what I’m thinking really true? Is there evidence to support it?
For example, instead of thinking I’m a failure, try thinking, I’m learning from my past mistakes and I’m getting better every day.
Replace your negative thoughts with more positive ones
Once you’ve challenged your negative thoughts, replace them with more positive ones.
This can be difficult at first, but it gets easier with practice. The more you focus on the positive, the better you’ll start to just feel better about yourself because you lift your vibration.
We live in an energetic universe, and your thoughts are energy!
Be patient with yourself
It takes time to change your thinking patterns.
Don’t expect to change your self-talk overnight. It takes time and effort to develop new habits. Be patient with yourself.
My rule of thumb on this is space, time, and repetition. Keep a positive attitude over time, over space, and repeatedly!
If you find that you are struggling to manage your low-vibe self-talk and thinking, it may be helpful to talk to a therapist or counselor.
2. Allow what you feel
The accumulated emotional energy that has not been fully faced and released, remains in every cell in the body, says Eckhart Tolle in A New Earth.
Emotional well-being requires us to allow and accept our emotions.
Just picture your emotions as this gray cloud that’s billowing within you… you don’t want to carry that!
On the flip side, it’s HARD to feel emotional pain.
It takes time, self-love, and grace for sure.
3. Lift your self-esteem
What you focus on expands
Focus on your strengths and accomplishments. This will help you to build self-confidence gain confidence, overcome obstacles and feel good about yourself.
Surround yourself with positive people who support you
As you surround yourself with good people, you feel good about yourself and your abilities.
Don’t worry be happy
I know, easier said than done. But, it’s useful to remind yourself that you deserve happiness.
AND… you’re the creator of it. Not the external world.
Do things that make you happy and give you a sense of your self esteem, worth and accomplishment. This will help you to feel good about yourself and your life.
Forgive yourself for your mistakes
Carolyn Myss, the great medical intuitive says that forgiveness is essential.
When we forgive ourselves and others, we open up so much room within. After coaching people for 25 years and having my own hurts, I realize how tough it can be to forgive family members, past challenging situations, and being deeply hurt by someone you trusted.
So, forgiveness is a process. Instead, we can be moving into a state of forgiveness. This wording can be helpful to leave the door open for NOT forgiving.
Because it’s your pain and heartache and you get to forgive when and if it feels like something you can do.
Yes, words matter.
4. Practice positive self-talk
The first step to changing your self-talk is to become aware of it.
How to feel better about yourself, includes paying attention to the things you say to yourself, both positive and negative. Write down your negative thoughts as you catch them.
This will increase your awareness and help you dislodge from them.
When you catch yourself engaging in negative self-talk, challenge those thoughts. Ask yourself if they are really true. Are you really a failure? Or did you just make a mistake?
Once you have challenged your negative thoughts, replace them with positive ones. For example, instead of saying I’m a failure, say… I’m learning from my mistakes.
Very different vibe right?
And, be specific in your positive self-talk. Don’t just say I’m great. Instead, say something specific about what you’re great at. For example, I’m a great cook.
The more you practice positive self-talk, the more natural it will become. And the more natural it becomes, the more it will impact your self-esteem and your life.
Remember, positive self-talk is a skill. The more you practice it, the better you will become at it. So don’t give up! Keep practicing, and you will see results.
Here are some additional tips for positive self-talk and how to feel better about yourself and I practice all of them:
- Start your day with positive affirmations. Say something positive to yourself in the mirror each morning.
- Keep a journal of your positive thoughts. Write down at least three positive things that happened each day.
- Surround yourself with positive people. Spend time with people who make you feel good about your BEST self.
- Do things that make you happy. Make time for activities that you enjoy and that make you feel good.
- Be kind to yourself. Forgive yourself for your mistakes and focus on your strengths.
- Celebrate your successes. No matter how small, take the time to celebrate your accomplishments.
Positive self-talk can have a powerful impact on your life. It can help you feel better about yourself, boost your self confidence, and achieve your goals. So start practicing positive self-talk today and see the difference it makes!
It takes time, self-love, and grace for sure.
5. Surround yourself with people who lift you up.
Be intentional about who you spend time with.
Choose people who are positive, supportive, and have similar values to you. This means being mindful of the people you allow into your life and making sure that they are people who vibe with your individuality and values. Here are some suggestions:
Set boundaries with negative people
If you feel bad someone is a person constantly bringing you down, it’s okay to distance yourself from them. This doesn’t mean you have to be mean to them, but you can let them know that their negativity is not welcome in your life.
Join groups or activities
This is a great way to meet new people who share your interests. This can be anything from joining a book club to taking a class to volunteering for a cause you care about.
Be open to new friendships
Don’t be afraid to reach out to people you don’t know very well. You never know who you might connect with. The best way to make new friends is to put yourself out there and meet new people.
Be a good friend to others
Be supportive, positive, and understanding of the people in your life. When your friends need you, you’re there for them, as you’d want them to be, listening without judgment and offering encouragement and support.
Just be aware of energy vampires!
Surrounding yourself with positive, successful people can have a big impact on your life. It can help you feel more supported, motivated, and successful. So make an effort to connect with people who bring you up, and you’ll be glad you did.