Be calm and patient with your husband and kids …

Be calm and patient with your husband and kids …

Hello!  I’m Jeanne and I help wives and moms be calm, patient, and less reactive with their husband, partner, or kids …
So, they’ll write you sweet little notes to show you how much you mean to them.
And why will they do this?
Because they feel SAFE with you. 
They know you’re there for them, calm and patient when the bag of trash you asked them to take out is still sitting there.
Their imperfections don’t unravel you.
Just like you’re OK with you own imperfections.
And they see that your calm and patience comes from this DEEP well within you.
Kids love being around that.  Men love being around that.
We love being around that …
So, why does a soul coach help women be calm and patient with their family … and themselves?
And why do I teach the technique: 5 Steps to a calm, patient response in the download you have below?
Because, while I was a loving wife and mother …
I used to be stressed out, anxious, and easily upset.
This was NOT a good look on me.
On my tombstone my sons might have written: We loved her, but wish she would have taken a deep breath and a very long vacation.
Thankfully, I breathe easily now.
And here’s the good news …
As we become more patient with ourselves, and we forgive the things we’ve said and done …
We have more patience to give

 

Energy Vampires … and why it’s not worth it.

Christiane Northrup, M.D. is helping us understand how we can evade energy vampires.
I’m grateful because this topic comes up A LOT in my work as a soul coach.  The power of thought and how negative thinking is literally killing people is the main theme in my futuristic book, The Thought Store.
Have you ever walked away from someone feeling blah or angry or anxious, and wondering what the heck happened?
And then you’re wondering how you got sucked in?
Because, the subject people seem to be bothered by, more than any other subject, is other people.

We can’t live with them, can’t live without them!

Can’t live with them … can’t live without them! 🙂
Other people is the number one reason people leave their jobs.
And sometimes, only sometimes … those “other people” are energy vampires.
Christiane Northrup’s best selling book:  Dodging Energy Vampires: An Empath’s Guide to Evading Relationships that Drain You and Restoring Your Health and Power, talks about this issue in depth.
And hey … we’ve all had bad days or months.  Quite honestly, when my husband passed away, I wasn’t fun to be around for years.
It was tough, and I had to nurse my wounds for a long time.
But, do you have someone you’ve known forever and you feel drained by the relationship?
Or maybe you’ve known them for a short time, and you didn’t realize they were slowly draining the life out of you?
If you want a harmonious and fun life, this includes NOT allowing yourself to be drained by other people, even if you feel badly for them.

Thoughts to empower you.

You can affirm:

I love you, I forgive you, I’m letting you go.

I deserve peace.

I am only allowing peaceful relationships in my life.

I allow myself to protect my energy.

When I feel drained, I will take a look at what’s happening.

I am committed to being around good energy.

I am attracted loving, responsible, caring, empowered people into my life.

I am letting you go.

 

The power of the PAUSE

The power of the PAUSE

The power of the pause is a simple technique for being calm and less reactive with your spouse, your kids, your friends, your parents, the noisy neighbor, and the adorable teenager who refuses to clean out his car, etc.
Let’s say something happens that gets your temperature up!  Someone says or does something annoying, disrespectful, oblivious … Oops sorry, I got carried away.
Anyway, you’re upset.  Maybe your blood is starting to boil …
The moment this happens, use the power of the pause:
1.  Think PAUSE – Just stop. This simple and seemingly tiny act of bravery is larger than you think. BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW IT’S REALLY HARD TO PAUSE WHEN OUR JUICES ARE FLOWING!
Pausing gives us a chance to slow down.
If your knee jerk reaction is to overreact, then pausing is a triumph in and of itself.
2.  NAME WHAT YOU’RE FEELING AND BREATHE – Simply notice what you’re feeling and name it.  For example:  I’m mad.  I am hurt. I feel like crying. (Said to yourself or out loud.)
3.  Keep breathing deeply and gently until you feel better and calm enough to address the situation.
Dr. Dan Siegel, a professor of psychiatry at the UCLA school of medicine, coined the phrase: Name it To Tame it … in the brain.
NAME IT TO TAME IT
He teaches parents how to coach their children when the children are upset.
The principles apply to adults as well.  When we name an emotion, the brain sends soothing neurotransmitters to the limbic system, the part of the brain that wants to run away.
Soothing … I love the sound of that.
For instance, when a child is scared, just naming it and saying: I’m scared, helps her calm down.
The more accurate you can be in naming the emotion, the better the result.
That’s why it helps for parents to be in tune with their children, to help them name their emotion.
By the same token, it’s important for adults to be in tune with themselves! 
Being able to stay calm in the storm isn’t easy.
However, as we care for our deeper needs, we feel calmer and more steady.

That’s all for now … I’ll be following up with more about how you can let your calmer, steady side prevail.

The kindness of people.

The kindness of people.

Lately, I’ve been thinking of all the mothers who have younger children at home during Covid.
Younger through teens years anyway.
And … YOU ROCK!  Seriously, you mom’s rock.
I used to hyperventilate over how to occupy my kids for a measly summer … and this is a very long summer.
So, sending you our admiration and respect! 
This pandemic has affected ALL 7.8 billion of us … and in different ways.
It’s certainly a challenging time.
It is what it is.
For me, someone who REALLY DOESN’T like feeling stuck, I am looking at my life as creatively as I can.
So, I remind myself:  It is what it is.
And this helps a bit.
Isn’t it funny how a trite phrase can soothe my mind?
Why does this five word sentence feel good?
Because in that moment, I am not resisting what is happening.
This is not throwing in the towel.  For me, it’s kind of the serenity prayer:
Help me change what I can, accept what I can’t …
And then I notice …  how MANY people are really kind right now.
Big time.

The kindness of people

The kindness of people has reached a very high level.
I hear all around me:
Be safe.  Be careful.  Thinking of you.  Thank you for being here.  Thank you for your service.  Are you OK?
And that’s cool.
Therefore, while I am not diggin’ this at all, I accept it week by week and keep my thoughts positive for the future.
So our young people aren’t inundated with pessimism.
Because pessimism is like air pollution.
So, when the ATT agent accidentally disconnects our call for the 7th time, since they’re working from home and have questionable phone service …
I think:  It is what it is.
And I call again 3 days later after I’ve calmed down. (Even though I’ve lost 7 hours from my life.)

Thoughts to clean the air

At a minimum, I can avoid polluting the air around ME.  Some thoughts that help:
We are not alone in this.
I am grateful for this, this and this.
Oh, and I’m grateful for BLANK.  (I know we’ve had this idea drilled into our heads, But truly … Gratitude instantly raises our energy.)
This is temporary.
I will not jump ahead in my thoughts.
I’m doing the best I can today.
Sending a very big hello to you and hoping you’re safe and doing ok …
Life is in the rituals.

Life is in the rituals.

I believe life is in the daily rituals. The saying is actually, Life is in the details … but I like the word rituals.
It’s the rituals we do each day … that add up to our life.
Ritual – an act regularly repeated in a precise manner.
What do I love about rituals?
They connect me to my spirit and something bigger.
And that feels amazing.
The rituals I’m talking about …
DAILY RITUALS
  1. Daily prayers, mantras, affirmations.
  2. Checking in with myself emotionally.
  3. Letting go … repeatedly.
  4. Other rituals I LOVE.
Rituals are something I can COUNT on.
I love things I can count on.
Especially now …
It’s what I did DAILY that literally transformed my life.
Now, they are so much a part of my daily routine that I don’t have to think about them.
My rituals are waiting there like a cozy couch.
A TYPICAL DAY.
Wake up  >  Say gratitude prayer.  >  Breathe  > High vibe mantras.  >   Say I love you a few times (a great high vibe thought)   >  Roll out of bed.  >  Drink the best coffee ever.   >  Be quiet.  >  Affirmations  >  Eat something with salsa.   >   Do work I enjoy.  >  Remind myself I’m OK.  >   Exercise: 4 sit-ups   >   Ask myself how I feel.   >   Release uncomfortable emotion.  >   Be mindless for awhile.   >   Do work I enjoy.   >  Do some work I don’t enjoy, but accept.   >  Breathe  >  Eat Biscotti.   >  Surrender   >   Gratitude… REPEAT.
Now, do I also think negatively at times, worry a bit, be lazy, and eat food that will never biodegrade in my lifetime?  SURE I DO!
However, it’s the 80/20 … or the 90/10 … or the 70/30   I don’t know!
Life is in the rituals … so, for the sake of enjoying your life, choose rituals that empower you and bring you peace.
When my kids were young, what I list above would have sounded impossible, but honestly, 90% of what’s listed above …. were totally possible!
Find what works for you and gives a nice flow to your day.
And most of all … that remind you of your 24/7 connection to yourself and something bigger than you.

flatten the curve with a second wind.

Jeanne Nangle Soul Coach empowers people to discover their soul and place in the world.
I need something to help me flatten the curve …
Remember being a kid in the backseat of your parents car and your family was driving somewhere and you’d ask:  Are we there yet?  
You’d ask every ten minutes and your parents would say:  Not yet!
Remember that feeling of: Is this drive over yet?
Is this over yet?
THEN, my son who lives in New York, and yes, it’s mayhem there; he sends me a Public Service Announcement from the Office of the Governor of California he saw on Twitter about Flatten the curve
In it is Julia Louis-Dreyfus (Seinfeld, Veep, etc.) and she’s putting on her own make-up because her make-up staff is staying home and being safe.
So, she’s putting red lipstick all over her face because she’s never applied her own make-up!
It’s so funny …
Flatten the curve.
I was laughing out loud at how funny she looks applying this clown-like make-up and asking us to please STAY HOME to help flatten the curve.
Yet … I’m getting the message.
I know I need to dig in deep and get my second wind.
Even though I want this thing to be OVER, I must be part of flattening this curve!
Therefore, I am gaining my second wind.  
Thank goodness for second winds.
We have this incredible ability to feel tired, pissed off, and DONE, and then wake up the next day and say:
And in case your spirit is a bit frail lately, just know that you too have that second wind within you.
Built into our DNA!
This second wind ability is built into our DNA.
We are made to withstand … life.
Then one day, hopefully sooner than later, we’ll be among one another again.
And we won’t spit in each others faces when we talk.
We will give each other plenty of personal space and respect:)
Oops, I’m getting ahead of myself.
For now …  it would be enough to feel a light and breezy second wind.
Wishing that you and your family are safe.
Leaning into your spirit

Leaning into your spirit

In this interesting time, I find two things happening.
First, sometimes I’m foggy headed, distracted, which way is up … headed.
Where’s my coffee or wine and which Netflix show will I serial watch tonight … is the #1 thing I care about.
And actually,  it’s kind of relaxing to expect so little of myself:)
Ahh, self-love … bring it on.
Feeling a bit distracted by this sheer twilight zone world we are living in right now, is par for the course.
But, you knew that:)
However, there’s another feeling that’s really strong and it’s a deep desire to lean into my spirit. 
A deep desire to lean into my spirit. 
I LOVE leaning in.
What does that mean?
It’s connecting with the part of me that is eternal and connected to something bigger than me.
This greater something doesn’t care if I wear a face mask.
It doesn’t care if I don’t like using the Q word …
It doesn’t even care about the things I worry about.
It’s just still and steady.
It’s there for me.
Connecting with my own spirit.
Connecting with my own spirit is connecting to the strength within me. 
While I may feel vulnerable at times … my spirit knows:  I am OK … I am safe.  I am secure.  
My spirit knows this.  It has no doubt.
You may have your own ways of connecting with your spirit.
Or maybe you call this feeling something else.
However, if this is sounding a bit too abstract …
And you’d like some concrete tips around this idea of leaning into your spirit, try this mini meditation:
Tree of life meditation
Take a deep breath and let go.
Now picture your head as the branches of a great tree that reaches up about 60 feet.  
And picture your body the trunk of a tree: strong and solid.
Then, picture your lower body as the great roots of this great tree, descending into the ground and rooting you, grounding you, so you know you’re solidly connected to firm ground.  
Now, with this visual, picture sunlight coming into the branches of the tree and filling up the branches down to the ends of the roots.
Just breathe as you visualize this bright light filling the tree that’s holding you.
In this safe place, know your spirit is there for you.
Stay here as long as you like or as long as you’re comfortable.
And don’t judge yourself if you get bored and want to run to In and Out Burger.
I did that yesterday.
That’s ok too:)
Just stay in your car and thank those adorable teenagers …
Stay safe … and wishing you a lovely evening.

#tree of life meditation

A time for opening up … when we want to do the opposite.

A time for opening up … when we want to do the opposite.

I’m thinking of you all and sending my good thoughts and wishes your way.

I’ve been using this time we have now to reboot, reconnect with myself, and regroup about my future.

While this is a stressful time, it can also be a time for deepening our commitment to whatever we are committed to.

The world has hit the pause button. That’s how I am thinking about it.

For a world that is busy, busy …. hitting pause can create the space for something new to come in.

Or hitting pause can be a time for deeper spirituality.

Or reaching up and out and discovering what your piece is in this universe.

I realize these are huge questions and sometimes we are just making it through the day … but the bigger questions are sitting there, waiting to be asked.

If you feel like it …

What would you have me do with this time?

How can I share the biggest and best part of me?

Now, I don’t always feel like asking these bigger questions.

Sometimes, often lately, I need to just take time out.

However, once those moments pass … then I can refocus on what matters to me.

And I know that moment will always show itself.

Mindfulness for those walks you’re taking.

Mindfulness for those walks you’re taking.

 

With all that is happening, I’ve decided to work on something I’ve been working on for YEARS … but I need a lot more practice.
So, now is the perfect time.
As Pema Chodron, Buddhist nun says, This moment is the perfect teacher.
This moment is the perfect teacher.
So, what am I working on?
Being present.
We’ve all heard about it.  It’s being present in the moment, so we can take in the moment fully.
I LOVE the idea of it … AND yet, it’s rather hard to do.
And totally worth it.
We can hear guidance.
There are TWO reasons why we want to be present or practice mindfulness right now:
First, In the present moment … we can hear guidance.  
We hear what we need to hear.
EVENTUALLY.
If you’ve been receiving my newsletter for some time, then you know I believe we ALL have a team in the spiritual world that is watching over us and helping us evolve and ultimately, fulfill our destiny.
Often this includes our loved ones who’ve passed.
Thankfully, I discovered this early on after my husband passed.
In the present moment … somehow A SPACE IS CREATED that invites in guidance.
Noticing the color of the sky and the sound of leaf blowers …
Whatever it is.
It’s the singular moment, and …. it’s right there.
Spirit seems to talk to us in these moments.
God, spirit or the universe … seems to talk to us in these moments.
And I love this so much I cannot begin to tell you.
So, when I walk each day I practice being present.  I do this by saying to myself: Look.  
I look around at all there is to look at and I focus on taking it in.
Yes, I get distracted and look at my phone to see what time it is:)
And yes, sometimes I get bored.
So, I notice this and say:  Look …
And I look again.
Then, a few moments later I say:  Listen.
Simply listen.
And I try for a couple minutes to listen to the sounds of whatever is happening around me.
I simply listen.
Now, I am NOT listening for a spiritual kind whispering or anything like that.  (Is there such a thing?)
Instead, I am listening to what is happening in the here and now.
From personal experience I can honestly say:  It is ten times easier to work through the gambit of human emotion … in the present moment.
The second reason to be present.
And the second reason why it’s totally worth it to be present is …
And please forgive me for stating the obvious, but in the present moment we AREN’T WORRIED ABOUT THE FUTURE OR PAST.
We’re just right there … a human being having a human moment.
In the present.
Later, when you least expect it.
And then later … when you least expect it, you get a flash of certainty … or extreme warmth and joy … or insight … or answers.
It comes out of nowhere … and it TOTALLY rocks.
I hope you’re doing well during this interesting time:)
#mindfulness

Thinking better thoughts … even in chaos:)

 

 

 

 

You have the power to think differently.

We are all thinking constantly. It’s been measured that humans on average think around 60,000 thoughts a day. So don’t try to run away from them!  Instead, practice relaxing with your thoughts while improving their quality.

One way to relax with your thoughts is to notice them without judgment.  As we observe ourselves without judgment, we are developing a more loving relationship with ourselves, and tapping into our personal power. 

What do you do when the negative, self-doubting, fear-based thoughts keep coming? First, remind yourself that you have the power to think differently. You really do. Then notice what you are thinking about. Just notice without judging. Look at your thoughts as though you are not attached to them.

They are just thoughts and can be changed in any moment.

Then ask yourself if these thoughts are true? Are they? Is what you are thinking about, worrying about … going to happen? Or are you thinking about the worst possible scenario? Over and over again? If you realize your thoughts are false, tell yourself that. “I know such and such isn’t true. I know it probably won’t happen. I’m just afraid it’ll happen.”

Then consciously choose better thoughts.

Thoughts that are worthy of your greatness.

You are a human being capable of unlimited change and growth. Believe that, because it’s true.

And if you don’t believe that yet, tell yourself you are developing your greatness. Because you are. We all are.

Are you taking the call?

Have you seen the movie, Jerry McGuire? It got the Oscar for Best Picture in 1997 … And best actor, best supporting actor, etc.

And, it’s one of my all time favorite movies.

Jerry is “holding on by a thin thread” … as Cuba Gooding Jr. says in the movie.

He has this moment at the beginning where he begins to question his entire life. He sees himself and his life and says: I hated myself …. no, that’s not it, I hated my place in the world.

So, Jerry decides to change his life.

And of course, it ain’t easy.

Jerry has issues …

Jerry has intimacy issues … He’s told: You’re a great friend, but bad at intimacy.

Because he’s lived on the surface.

And lied to get what he wants.

However, he discovers something worth going through ALL OF THE DISCOMFORT for: He discovers he wants to be true to himself.

I admire him.

Because he jumps into the well with courage.

He takes the call.

He takes the call.

If you’re standing at the edge of a well, looking down and wondering what you will do with your life, good for you.

I was pushed into that well long ago.

I know many who take this call in their 20’s … even better!

The sooner the better.

And to reassure you, you have everything you need … to take that call.

You’re doing the best you can.

Have you ever asked yourself the question:  Who or what am I capable of being?
Nothing like asking the big questions … right?
But seriously, I’m just asking …
Of course, it’s a personal question.
However, I ask because this question bobs around in my own mind ALL THE TIME.
Jeanne, who are you capable of being?
What are you capable of doing?
Are you doing it?
I sound like lots of fun, don’t I?
However, I ask with complete self-love … not judgement.
Not judgement.
But, with a love of my own soul and it’s potential.
Then I usually think:  I’m peddling as fast as I can here.  
I’m doing the best I can.
And so are you.
When I think of all of the precious young and old and in between souls out there trying their damnedest to do something good …
It makes me feel good about humanity.
Never mind about the others.
So, each day I wake up and ask for help and guidance to guide me to my best potential.
And then I eat a bagel.
OK, that’s a lie … I try to not eat wheat.
But, I want a bagel.
Anyway, as you are giving what you are capable of into the world, you are peddling as fast as you can as well.
I know it.
Anyone who reads a newsletter about the soul and self-love and purpose and positive thinking … is OBVIOUSLY doing their best:)
So, here’s to doing the best we can …

This is your life 2.

“And if I don’t
I will die,
because I have to be
a butterfly.”
So … I wrote a poem about this when I was about 8 years.
A caterpillar is destined to be a butterfly.  It’s in the cards.
This grayish green, wet crinkled straw paper looking insect turns into a magnificent, flying example of transformation.
Of being true to yourself.
Yet, the road getting there is a winding one at that.
Decades later I wrote a book about it.  In my story, my sweet caterpillar is terrified of leaving the garden.
She is terrified of the unknown.
And of dropping into the well of all healing.
Yet, she does.
It’s her destiny.
And she doesn’t even know it.  But, destiny knows it.
Something bigger knows it.
She takes that giant leap of faith … or that giant crawl of perseverance.
All sixteen legs are in.
She knows something more is out there and she must know what that is.
The pieces within her that she’s ignored will not be ignored any longer.
The still place within her that speaks to her at night … will not be kept asleep.
This inner place knows exactly who you are and what your life is for.
The place of purpose and soul.
#self-love, #purpose

Our purpose takes many forms …

I’ve always felt this sense of purpose …

I remember being in any group where someone was speaking: our synagogue, school auditorium, etc. and thinking, I will be speaking to this many people some day.

And yet, I was terrified of public speaking, rejection, and failing.

So, this was a problem.

Little did I know my form of speaking would be through the internet … and not directly in front of people.

Our purpose takes many shapes.

THE BOTTOM FELL OUT.

Then, over ten years ago, I lost my husband of 23 years.

The bottom fell out of my life so to speak. I was lost.

But, an inner voice wouldn’t leave me alone. I needed to live the life I knew was out there for me.

The life I could always see but it hadn’t happened yet.

This lead me to a wonderful and winding inner journey … and at the end of that journey, I found a love of my own soul and my purpose.

After years of confusion, I was no longer afraid of my purpose. I discovered something deeper and undeniable within me.

The thing about purpose is … recognizing the thing you MUST do … and then narrowing in on what that looks like.

And the thing you MUST do may have many different forms of expression throughout your life … and it probably will.

It creates a deeply fulfilling and fun life when you express your purpose in all the ways that it’s meant to be expressed.
For example, my purpose is to use my passion for expression to empower and inspire others.
Well, this has taken many forms:  writing books, writing poetry, speaking, teaching, creating online courses.  The central question always being:  How can I express this in a way that will serve others?
I love asking this question … and then answering it.
That is the beauty of knowing your purpose … it GUIDES you, every day.
All we have to do is follow it.

Once you believe this, you’ll be unstoppable.

“Lack of focus leads to a lack of greatness.” ~ Jerry Seinfeld
So, why do I bring this up?
Because a lot of people want to do something with their lives.
However, they’re afraid they won’t be great at it.
Yet, when we focus, we can get great at it.  
We may not be the best … but we get better and better.  (Only one person can be the best anyway.)
Focus, keep doing it, and getting better at it.
And here’s why it’s worth the effort:
The soulful desires we have:  those desires are given to us.
Yes.
As a soul coach, when I talk about purpose and desire … I am NOT saying this lightly:
We are given a specific make up (desire and ability) to see through a specific purpose or purposes.
If you doubt this … please don’t.
Because once you believe this, you’ll be unstoppable.
This is what I experienced.
I doubted, doubted, questioned, wondered …
While I told myself:  Don’t believe those limits you’ve set.  Don’t believe them.  You were given talents, etc. for a good reason.  Doubting it only keeps you from helping the world.
And who does that serve?
No one.
When we figure out our place in the world … we CAN become great at it.
Large or small.
Summer and fall.
It doesn’t matter, it’s just you using your special combo for a purpose that’s particular to YOU.
And everyone wins:)
#soul #jeannenanglesoulcoach #self-love #Seinfeld

What did Einstein say about self-love?

“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results.” 
Of course this also applies to how we treat ourselves.
So, I want to encourage you to do things differently.
I am excited that apparently … a lot of people believe in the importance of self-love!
I’ve had hundreds of people personally inquire and many of them enroll in The Power of Self-love already!
I am happy to see people taking this very important step for themselves.
Because to truly love yourself and …
Treat yourself with love …
And feel secure in who you are … is the BEST gift you can give yourself AND those around you!
Seriously!  You’re not the only one who benefits!
Your children benefit because they see the example of someone who knows how to love themselves.
And believe me when I tell you, this WILL influence how they treat themselves.
Not to mention how your spouse or partner will benefit from being with a more secure person.
I stress this point, because if you’re on the fence about investing in yourself,
then I hope to move you off the fence.
Because I wouldn’t want to see you stuck indefinitely.  And quite honestly, I’ve seen that happen.
Taking action, DOING something different is vitally important.
Otherwise nothing changes.  And we stay the same.
#self-love #soul #Einstein #jeannenanglesoulcoach