It is about turning away from what is popular and easy and what other’s think … and choosing what you know in your heart is right for you.
That is the ultimate in self-love.
When is it time to step up and love ourselves … and love our soul?
Each of us will have our own answer.
Is it ok to dial ourselves down because what we need doesn’t make sense to some people?
I want to speak for a moment to the people who have lived a few decades …
You’ve been around the track and know yourself by now.
You know what you’re good at and not so good at.
Are you showing up for that?
How many more years will go by?
We all have things to let go of.
And it ain’t easy.
I’m the first to admit that.
Letting go is a constant process and sometimes it feels horrible.
Actually, usually it feels horrible.
However, please don’t let the past stop you. Let it fuel you.
Don’t let the pain be in vain.
Let it strengthen you.
I KNOW we are each capable of this.
Are you feeling judged?
The 1,000 pound gorilla in the room … how we judge ourselves.
Did we say the right thing?
Were we too sensitive?
Did we do enough?
When we judge ourselves … we FEEL judged by others.
Maybe they are. Maybe they aren’t.
But we feel judged.
However, when you begin talking to yourself with less judgment, you will feel less judgement. Period.
As you judge yourself less … you won’t feel or even notice others judging you.
Because your judgment radar gets turned WAY down. The knee jerk reaction of feeling judgment slowly lessens.
We can be self-aware with a TONE and attitude that is NOT judgmental, but self-loving.
Good old fashioned self-love.
And what will you do with all of this extra energy that is NOT being wasted on feeling judged?
I guess you could take up surfing or basket weaving or writing the next great novel or eating a hot fudge sundae.
All of these options sound better to me:)
In Part One I mentioned my childhood poem about a caterpillar finding her place in the world.
And I mentioned writing a book about it decades later called: The Butterfly Silhouette.
What I didn’t mention is my really crazy story about this.
So, many years ago, during the time I wrote that poem, I had a friend in my neighborhood named Victoria. We played, swam in her pool, and ran around the block playing tag.
Then, around the age of 11, I moved away and lost touch with ALL of the neighborhood kids, including Victoria.
Fast forward many decades (who’s counting?) and my friend runs into Victoria at their high school reunion.
Remember, I moved away.
She knows my poem verbatim!
Victoria sees my friend and mentions that she remembers my Butterfly poem VERBATIM!
Decades later … how can this be?
I mean, after many decades! VERBATIM!
My wise and tuned in friend whips out her phone and videos Victoria reciting the poem for ME!
What in the world?
How in the world did my childhood friend remember another kid’s poem, written decades ago, whom she hasn’t seen or talked to since?
I mean I wasn’t Mary Oliver or Robert Frost!
Why in the world did Victoria log it in her brain?
I Needed to Hear it on that Day.
And here’s the other really cool part: I needed to hear it on that day.
It was a day I needed to hear those words … to remind me of MY own destiny, my mission, my NEED for authentic expression.
I needed it.
My son and I were in San Francisco when I received the video of my poem being recited back to me.
He was in total disbelief that this unknown woman (to him) could recite a poem that’s been on our refrigerator forever!
We both knew in that moment that something bigger had intervened.
On that day, I needed to hear the words in the poem.
I needed to be reminded of my own purpose.
This kind of magic happens more and more … when we are in the flow of our lives.
The universe steps in and sends us what we need.
Just when we need it, the forces that exist send us precisely what we need.
It guides us, coaxes us, nudges us, and holds us.
However, we have to show up.
It is up to us to show up for our lives.
Showing up is self-love.
And no one else can tell us what we’re supposed to do. It’s something we discover on our own.
Then, in those special moments, we’re shown the truth about ourselves.
And we’re reminded how incredibly powerful we are.
“And if I don’t
I will die,
because I have to be
So … I wrote a poem about this when I was about 8 years.
A caterpillar is destined to be a butterfly. It’s in the cards.
This grayish green, wet crinkled straw paper looking insect turns into a magnificent, flying example of transformation.
Of being true to yourself.
Yet, the road getting there is a winding one at that.
Decades later I wrote a book about it. In my story, my sweet caterpillar is terrified of leaving the garden.
She is terrified of the unknown.
And of dropping into the well of all healing.
Yet, she does.
It’s her destiny.
And she doesn’t even know it. But, destiny knows it.
Something bigger knows it.
She takes that giant leap of faith … or that giant crawl of perseverance.
All sixteen legs are in.
She knows something more is out there and she must know what that is.
The pieces within her that she’s ignored will not be ignored any longer.
The still place within her that speaks to her at night … will not be kept asleep.
This inner place knows exactly who you are and what your life is for.
The place of purpose and soul.
As a soul coach I’ve empowered thousands of people around the world to love themselves.
And I’ve found that the main issue that comes up for most people is DOUBT.
Four Kinds of Doubt That Come Up
1. In yourself that you’re good enough for … whatever.
2. That the universe has a plan for you.
3. If the world is connected (by more than the internet.)
4. Does a deeper life exist?
Just in case you relate … I used to mastered the art of doubting … doubting just about everything.
I doubted so much over so long … I exhausted myself.
Sometimes I could here whispers above me saying:
“What do we have to do to get this woman on board??”
“And what is it going to take for her to stop doubting and believe in her life?”
Eventually, I wrote about my history with doubt in my book The Butterfly Silhouette.
My sweet doubting caterpillar not only doubts she can be a butterfly … she doubts that she can leave her garden, if she will stop falling down, and that her mentor butterfly is watching over her.
I Get Doubt
When life didn’t go smoothly, I used to be easily discouraged.
It felt like I was going in circles.
I wanted to move to Palm Springs and sell postcards.
No, then I wanted to make bagels.
Then, I just wanted to meditate and be left alone.
Yet, none of this was ultimately right for me.
Now, I’m relieved to say, doubting is behind me.
Therefore, I don’t know if you’re riding the doubt train …
However, there may be ONE thing you doubt that is standing in the way of you loving and expressing what is inside you?
How do YOU move this thing you doubt, whatever it is, out of the way?
So that one day, a long time from now, you’ll go out saying:
I showed up, I was myself, I had fun, I believed in something bigger than myself, I shared who I was, I gave it all I had. I loved myself.
The relationship I’m referring to is the one you have with yourself.
And something bigger that helps you understand where you fit into it all.
Your happiness and peace is based on this relationship.
Because of the level of deep connection, belonging, and purpose … that comes from this relationship.
Then, you do not rely on what is happening externally in your life to feel connected.
You are able to create this within yourself because … You are clear on what you’re here to do.
So how do we know what that is?
By having a relationship with ourselves … a nice, lovely, connected, honest, trustworthy relationship with ourselves.
By paying attention to how we feel.
By paying attention to what we need.
By noticing what is going on with us … without self-judgement.
Honestly, I’m probably overusing the word connection … so I will work on coming up with a better word …
How about self-love?
Once you feel it … it’s no longer acceptable to not feel it.
It’s just too darn uncomfortable to be disconnected from ourselves once we’ve been truly connected.
#self-love, #purpose, #connection
How do we stop doubting ourselves, so our sweet little soul doesn’t deflate and roll into the gutter …
By believing and owning this:
What is within you … needs to come out.
You’re here to DO something.
Your soul … or your essential nature, or genius, or true self, your spirit …
Is as real and essential to your life as air.
And is here to do something … particular to you.
And it DOESN’T MATTER if others have done something similar.
And it doesn’t matter if it impacts one person, 100 people, or millions of people.
Each person has a different plan.
And, that’s not all of it!
It gets better.
When we love ourselves
We FEEL empowered.
And we feel our own depth.
This is key.
Us humans can get a bit murky.
And we get to be real with ourselves about our murkiness …
However, we DON’T have to bare our souls to other people.
We don’t need their approval.
We simply need to be honest with ourselves.
So we can:
Step into our power.
Accept the deepest part of ourselves.
Believe in what’s possible for us over self-doubt.
Feel secure in who we are.
And much more …
It’s quite incredible …
Living with self-love and purpose …