Am I good enough?
I am fascinated by this question because …
We’re born as sweet little children who believe we’re invincible … we’re good enough for anything.
Astronauts, rock stars, healers, lovers …
Then life slowly happens and we dial it down …
And frankly, this is JUST FINE, because we’re all meant for different things.
But, here’s where it gets interesting.
But, here’s where it gets interesting …
What is realistic for you?
Or a better question is:
What is right for you?
Is a soulmate relationship that is harmonious and very satisfying … is that right for you?
Is work that shares your talents and you enjoy it … is that right for you?
How about feeling comfortable in your own skin …
Or feeling secure within yourself.
Or feeling good enough.
Feeling good enough … even with being weak sometimes.
I have to confess, in my 20’s and 30’s I was literally terrified of appearing weak.
There’s a library of psychological data to explain my issue here … but let’s just say: I hated weakness in general.
And I certainly hated it in myself.
It takes awhile to accept ourselves.
It took me a long while to accept any weaknesses …and to
not run away from this part of me.
(Interesting that someone who teaches self-love had issues with weakness! It’s all part of preparing ourselves …)
Anyway, back to …
Am I good enough?
And here’s the answer:
Yes and … we have to face ourselves.
As we face ourselves and love ourselves … we start to truly in our bones believe:
I’m good enough.
I am receiving greatness into my life.
I’m ready to put my baggage down. We can put down the baggage we’re carrying.
As we love ourselves …
the weight we’ve been carrying, we put it down.
Whatever burden we’ve been carrying …
we slowly put it down.
And yes, we all have different burdens with different intensities … but, we can put it down.
And as we do, we begin feeling lighter.
we do not have to go through life carrying a heavy burden.
Seriously, thank goodness …
As we love ourselves, we lighten our load, and we feel good enough.
Each year we get to start
fresh. I truly believe that. The ending of a year is significant.
We get only so many years in one life … and each calendar year marks what we’ve learned, what we saw, and what we did.
A lot is packed into one year.
So, in the spirit of starting the year with a clean slate, consider this:
You deserve love, you deserve success, you deserve to be happy.
Sure, you have some work to do to get there … but that’s not so bad right?
What better thing is there to do?
(definition): Anew in a new or different and typically more positive way.
No matter what we’ve done that we wish we hadn’t … we get to begin
anew. Some road under my shoes
While I say this to you in a lighthearted way … I’m saying it with some road under my shoes.
I, like many of you, have said and done things I’d love to redo.
If only …
I’ve made mistakes, struggled, and looked like a fool. And after all of that … no surprise here, I’ll doubt myself.
When we stumble … we doubt ourselves.
I understand … like Ph. D. level understanding, how it feels to truly doubt yourself in some area of life.
Yet NOW … I help others overcome self-doubt, self-judgment, self-rejection and love themselves.
Because I believe in it.
only after I’ve learned to love myself. We make a message of our mess
Have you heard the saying:
We make a message of our mess?
Well, it’s true.
Whatever mess you’ve made, you get to clean it up and then, possibly, help others clean up the messes of their lives.
None of us are getting out of this unscathed right?
We all get to stumble and make a message of our mess.
Happy new year to YOU and may you begin anew.
May you love yourself enough to begin anew.
Is self-love selfish?
No … of course not!
Because wanting to be a better person is not selfish.
Self-love comes from three areas … and it is
not selfish to think about them:
1. Living with purpose.
2. Growing our self-esteem and sense of security.
3. Believing in ourselves.
purpose is pursuing OUR WAY of making the world better.
This way we share our gifts with the world …
which we are meant to do.
It’s a win, win this way ….
Living with purpose is saying to yourself:
I’m good at this … now go do it and don’t doubt it!
self-esteem is respecting and no longer rejecting ourselves.
Instead, we become
secure in who we are.
We feel secure in our own skin
… a goal worth fighting for.
belief is honoring our spiritual nature.
The part of us that is connected to something sacred and eternal
that wants our highest good.
When we keep this in mind,
we realize we are far more than our limiting beliefs .
Self-love comes in many forms … and it’s certainly a journey to arrive there.
However, it’s an extremely worthwhile journey … one that positively impacts everyone around you.
When we love ourselves, we have more love to give.
Wishing you a happy and healthy new year!
What is Self-love PDF 1.1
“I love you,”
she heard herself say.
She leaned into the stone,
and the stone moved its way.
In this stanza from
The Butterfly Silhouette, the caterpillar has been struggling in a puddle, and she is stuck beneath a stone.
She’s scared and wonders if she’ll break free.
Who is she speaking to?
Herself? God? Someone else? The universe?
The reader can decide.
For me …
she felt love for herself and a higher power in that moment.
And this is one and the same.
When the caterpillar is stuck and can’t move and fears the end is near … she is no longer thinking.
And in this place the only words she utters are:
I love you.
She felt both loved and loving .
In those moments
we KNOW we are so much more than our earthly experience.
We have an experience of
… loving in spite of
Ten years ago, I would NEVER have even used the term
self-love, I would have found it cliche and dare I say it, self absorbed …
No longer. Not a bit.
On a following page, after the caterpillar moved the stone:
She passed through a threshold,
as some creatures do.
In the puddle’s dark depths,
she learned what was true.
love ourselves despite being laid out in a puddle, underneath a stone …
THEN, we’ve found something precious.
Because lack of self-love keeps stones in our way.
And we need to move that stone:)
I’ve been re-reading my book,
The Butterfly Silhouette lately and feeling touched by my confused, lost … and very brave caterpillar.
The richness of this metaphor STAYS with me all the time.
Because a caterpillar is destined to be a butterfly. It’s written in the stars.
This weepy looking insect turns into a magnificent, flying example of transformation.
She is emerging into something new.
And finding her place in the world.
Or her next place.
Fear of failure.
The road getting there is a winding one at that.
My earnest, afraid caterpillar is terrified of the unknown.
And she doesn’t want to fail.
Yet, the caterpillar goes on this journey outside of the garden.
And takes that giant leap of faith or that giant crawl of perseverance.
All sixteen legs are in.
My caterpillar knows something more is out there and
she must know what that is.
fear of the unknown doesn’t matter.
The caterpillar finds her courage.
Then, she leaves what is comfortable to go out into the world.
Where the caterpillar discovers self-love.
Her place in the world.
Once she finds self-love, she is able to move the stones along her path out of her way.
Now she is able to step into her place in it all.
#self-love, #purpose, #yourplaceintheworld
There was a fine day.
There was a fine day.
A beautiful day.
So glad to be in it
And feeling this way.
Then right out of nowhere
I feel a bit blue.
It doesn’t belong here!
Which feeling is true?
I suddenly feel sadder, not gladder,
I’m left feeling something
SOME say doesn’t matter. Some say it won’t stay.
Some say it won’t stay,
just focus on the day.
They say I should make
my sad heart go away.
So I turn my attention
to a bold and bright story,
so I can move on
from the sad and the gory. I like this idea.
I like this idea
and it works for a minute.
But then later on
my heart’s right back in it.
What is the answer?
I yell when I’m mad.
Which should I do
Be sad or think glad?
I hear in a whisper
a very loud voice.
It’s right in my head
so I don’t have a choice!
Be sad AND think glad!
Not just for a minute!
You need to feel sad,
while your heart is still in it! But there’s a mistake!
But there’s a mistake
many sad folks might make.
They hold to their sadness,
And plant a deep stake.
This kind of sad thinkin’
will end in your ruin.
You’ll never escape
from the sadness you’re brewin’.
What do you mean?
You said to be sad!
You said it’s OK!
You said I’d be glad.
Go there, yes go there!
But keep in your thoughts:
The best of ideas,
the highest of watts!
While you are sad,
and listening to your heart,
Think of what’s good,
That’s a really good start. Your head needs to help.
Your heart must be felt,
there can be little doubt.
While your head needs to help,
your heart find it’s way out.
Be sad till you’re finished,
even though it’s not fun.
Your sadness won’t leave
if you’re tempted to run.
Your heart is your heart,
it has all the clout!
Your heart doesn’t care
what your head is about.
So feel what is real
and trust in the day.
And keep your thoughts bright
till the clouds move away.
Does this question sound ridiculous to you?
Please read further because … it’s not so ridiculous!
While being happy rocks, let’s not be too quick to avoid sadness.
It’s part of being a whole person.
If you’re sad about something, anything … your plant died, you miss an old friend, you miss your old body, your favorite TV show you’re serial watching is over … shoot man!
That’s flipping sad!
Sometimes sadness is painful. No doubt about it:(
And sometimes it isn’t.
Ignoring it or being unaware of it can build up inside.
Being available for whatever range of emotion is within you is part of being emotionally AWARE.
Are you making time for feelings that come up?
Please don’t use positive thinking to repress emotion.
That’s the road to future pain and heartache and body pain and your body breaking down.
The body and mind are intimately connected.
So if you’re feeling sad … it’s ok. Please make room for it.
Let it be.
Let it be.
Being human involves many emotions and when we make room for both, the body, mind and spirit thank us.
I have a team I like to call Team Jeanne.
You have a team like this too. Your team is called: Team YOUR NAME.
My team consists of anyone and everyone who supports me on my path.
Both here AND … not here. You get the picture.
Your team reminds you of your place in a much larger context.
I love thinking about Team Jeanne because it reminds me of the vast
resources at my disposal.
If you may find this a bit … self-involved? Let me assure you, it’s the opposite.
It is surrendering to my place in a much larger context.
And reminding myself that I’m not alone.
It reminds me that I am loved.
It reminds me that the support I need to fulfill my potential is right in front of my face!
Right in front of my face!
I am so happy to know this Team exists. Thank you is all I can say.
I invite you to BUILD your team. They are right in front of YOUR face waiting to be called in!
They are ready with a good idea, a helping hand, a good hug, a loving word, a warm feeling, a great memory … you name it.
The support, the resources, the ideas at the exact right moment, it’s ALL right here.
Our job is to notice it.
And receive it. Receive it. Receive it … with gratitude.
And here’s the best part:
Your team loves you … even if some members wouldn’t necessarily use those words:)
Not all of us go around saying I love you all the time:)
Your team are people who help you: love yourself, respect yourself, have compassion for yourself, and forgive yourself.
Anyone else, kick them off the team!!
Send them to right field, no better yet, send them to the dugout! Good-bye!
We all have a team, thank goodness. My humble suggestion is this:
Invite them into your daily life.
All of the help you need is right here.
Yet another piece of proof … you are worth it.
It is about turning away from what is popular and easy and what other’s think … and choosing what you know in your heart is right for you.
That is the ultimate in self-love.
When is it time to step up and love ourselves … and love our soul?
Each of us will have our own answer.
Is it ok to dial ourselves down because what we need doesn’t make sense to some people?
I want to speak for a moment to the people who have lived a few decades …
You’ve been around the track and know yourself by now.
You know what you’re good at and not so good at.
Are you showing up for that?
How many more years will go by?
We all have things to let go of.
And it ain’t easy.
I’m the first to admit that.
Letting go is a constant process and sometimes it feels horrible.
Actually, usually it feels horrible.
However, please don’t let the past stop you. Let it fuel you.
Don’t let the pain be in vain.
Let it strengthen you.
I KNOW we are each capable of this.
Are you feeling judged?
The 1,000 pound gorilla in the room … how we judge ourselves.
Did we say the right thing?
Were we too sensitive?
Did we do enough?
When we judge ourselves … we FEEL judged by others.
Maybe they are. Maybe they aren’t.
But we feel judged.
However, when you begin talking to yourself with less judgment, you will feel less judgement. Period.
As you judge yourself less … you won’t feel or even notice others judging you.
Because your judgment radar gets turned WAY down. The knee jerk reaction of feeling judgment slowly lessens.
We can be self-aware with a TONE and attitude that is NOT judgmental, but self-loving.
Good old fashioned self-love.
And what will you do with all of this extra energy that is NOT being wasted on feeling judged?
I guess you could take up surfing or basket weaving or writing the next great novel or eating a hot fudge sundae.
All of these options sound better to me:)
Listen to those little nudges … they have to do with your purpose.
Often we don’t realize when the little nudges start … but they do. Then, one day we feel this curiosity … or even dissatisfaction, this kind of yearning for something more within ourselves, that’s been hibernating.
Maybe you feel like you are meant for more; like there’s something more you are going to do.
When you notice this feeling, please listen. This is an important part of you trying to get your attention: your own soul.
The soul is with us always … we already know this right? But, it’s up to us to pay attention.
Those inner urges, thoughts, and longings are all part of your soul communicating what you need … and what your purpose is at THIS time.
Even if you’ve lived a few decades and have some life behind you, you may still have something else you’re meant to do … OR something you’re meant to continue doing.
Please don’t ignore this, because the world needs your experience, your perspective, your knowledge.
We want to live all out … until the last day.
In Part One I mentioned my childhood poem about a caterpillar finding her place in the world.
And I mentioned writing a book about it decades later called:
The Butterfly Silhouette.
What I didn’t mention is my
really crazy story about this.
So, many years ago, during the time I wrote that poem, I had a friend in my neighborhood named Victoria. We played, swam in her pool, and ran around the block playing tag.
Then, around the age of 11, I moved away and lost touch with ALL of the neighborhood kids, including Victoria.
Fast forward many decades (who’s counting?) and my friend runs into Victoria at their high school reunion.
Remember, I moved away.
She knows my poem verbatim!
Victoria sees my friend and mentions that she remembers my Butterfly poem VERBATIM!
Decades later … how can this be?
I mean, after many decades! VERBATIM!
My wise and tuned in friend whips out her phone and videos Victoria reciting the poem for ME!
What in the world?
How in the world did my childhood friend remember another kid’s poem, written decades ago, whom she hasn’t seen or talked to since?
I mean I wasn’t Mary Oliver or Robert Frost!
Why in the world did Victoria log it in her brain?
I Needed to Hear it on that Day.
And here’s the other really cool part:
I needed to hear it on that day.
It was a day I needed to hear those words … to remind me of MY own destiny, my mission,
my NEED for authentic expression.
I needed it.
My son and I were in San Francisco when I received the video of my poem being recited back to me.
He was in total disbelief that this unknown woman (to him) could recite a poem that’s been on our refrigerator forever!
We both knew in that moment that something bigger had intervened.
On that day, I needed to hear the words in the poem.
I needed to be reminded of my own purpose.
This kind of magic happens more and more … when we are in the flow of our lives.
The universe steps in and sends us what we need.
Just when we need it, the forces that exist send us precisely what we need.
It guides us, coaxes us, nudges us, and holds us.
we have to show up.
It is up to us to show up for our lives.
Showing up is self-love.
And no one else can tell us what we’re supposed to do. It’s something we discover on our own.
Then, in those special moments,
we’re shown the truth about ourselves.
And we’re reminded how incredibly powerful we are.
“And if I don’t
I will die,
because I have to be
So … I wrote a poem about this when I was about 8 years.
A caterpillar is destined to be a butterfly. It’s in the cards.
This grayish green, wet crinkled straw paper looking insect turns into a magnificent, flying example of transformation.
being true to yourself.
Yet, the road getting there is a winding one at that.
Decades later I wrote a book about it. In my story, my sweet caterpillar is terrified of leaving the garden.
She is terrified of the unknown.
And of dropping into the well of all healing.
Yet, she does.
It’s her destiny.
And she doesn’t even know it. But, destiny knows it.
Something bigger knows it.
She takes that giant leap of faith … or that giant crawl of perseverance.
All sixteen legs are in.
She knows something more is out there and
she must know what that is.
The pieces within her that she’s ignored
will not be ignored any longer.
The still place within her that speaks to her at night … will not be kept asleep.
This inner place knows exactly who you are and what your life is for.
The place of purpose and soul.
As a soul coach I’ve empowered thousands of people around the world to
And I’ve found that the main issue that comes up for most people is DOUBT.
Four Kinds of Doubt That Come Up
1. In yourself that you’re good enough for … whatever.
2. That the universe has a plan for you.
3. If the world is connected (by more than the internet.)
4. Does a deeper life exist?
Just in case you relate … I used to mastered the art of doubting …
doubting just about everything.
I doubted so much over so long … I exhausted myself.
Sometimes I could here whispers above me saying:
“What do we have to do to get this woman on board??”
“And what is it going to take for her to stop doubting and believe in her life?”
Eventually, I wrote about my history with doubt in my book
The Butterfly Silhouette.
My sweet doubting caterpillar not only doubts she can be a butterfly … she doubts that she can leave her garden, if she will stop falling down, and that her mentor butterfly is watching over her.
I Get Doubt
When life didn’t go smoothly, I used to be
It felt like I was going in circles.
I wanted to move to Palm Springs and sell postcards.
No, then I wanted to make bagels.
Then, I just wanted to meditate and be left alone.
Yet, none of this was ultimately right for me.
Now, I’m relieved to say, doubting is behind me.
Therefore, I don’t know if you’re riding
the doubt train …
However, there may be ONE thing you doubt that is standing in the way of
you loving and expressing what is inside you?
How do YOU move this thing you doubt, whatever it is, out of the way?
So that one day, a long time from now, you’ll go out saying:
I showed up, I was myself, I had fun, I believed in something bigger than myself, I shared who I was, I gave it all I had. I loved myself.
The relationship I’m referring to is the one you have with yourself.
And something bigger that helps you understand where you fit into it all.
Your happiness and peace is based on this relationship.
Because of the level of deep connection, belonging, and purpose … that comes from this relationship.
Then, you do not rely on what is happening externally in your life to feel connected.
You are able to create this within yourself because … You are clear on what you’re here to do.
So how do we know what that is?
By having a relationship with ourselves … a nice, lovely, connected, honest, trustworthy relationship with ourselves.
By paying attention to how we feel.
By paying attention to what we need.
By noticing what is going on with us … without self-judgement.
Honestly, I’m probably overusing the word
connection … so I will work on coming up with a better word …
How about self-love?
Once you feel it … it’s no longer acceptable to not feel it.
It’s just too darn uncomfortable to be disconnected from ourselves once we’ve been truly connected.
#self-love, #purpose, #connection