Christiane Northrup, M.D. is helping us understand how we can evade energy vampires.
I’m grateful because this topic comes up A LOT in my work as a soul coach. The power of thought and how negative thinking is literally killing people is the main theme in my futuristic book, The Thought Store.
Have you ever walked away from someone feeling blah or angry or anxious, and wondering what the heck happened?
And then you’re wondering how you got sucked in?
Because, the subject people seem to be bothered by, more than any other subject, is other people.
We can’t live with them, can’t live without them!
Can’t live with them … can’t live without them! 🙂
Other people is the number one reason people leave their jobs.
And sometimes, only sometimes … those “other people” are energy vampires.
Christiane Northrup’s best selling book: Dodging Energy Vampires: An Empath’s Guide to Evading Relationships that Drain You and Restoring Your Health and Power, talks about this issue in depth.
And hey … we’ve all had bad days or months. Quite honestly, when my husband passed away, I wasn’t fun to be around for years.
It was tough, and I had to nurse my wounds for a long time.
But, do you have someone you’ve known forever and you feel drained by the relationship?
Or maybe you’ve known them for a short time, and you didn’t realize they were slowly draining the life out of you?
If you want a harmonious and fun life, this includes NOT allowing yourself to be drained by other people, even if you feel badly for them.
Thoughts to empower you.
You can affirm:
I love you, I forgive you, I’m letting you go.
I deserve peace.
I am only allowing peaceful relationships in my life.
I allow myself to protect my energy.
When I feel drained, I will take a look at what’s happening.
I am committed to being around good energy.
I am attracted loving, responsible, caring, empowered people into my life.
The power of the pause is a simple technique for being calm and less reactive with your spouse, your kids, your friends, your parents, the noisy neighbor, and the adorable teenager who refuses to clean out his car, etc.
Let’s say something happens that gets your temperature up! Someone says or does something annoying, disrespectful, oblivious … Oops sorry, I got carried away.
Anyway, you’re upset. Maybe your blood is starting to boil …
The moment this happens, use the power of the pause:
1. Think PAUSE – Just stop. This simple and seemingly tiny act of bravery is larger than you think. BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW IT’S REALLY HARD TO PAUSE WHEN OUR JUICES ARE FLOWING!
Pausing gives us a chance to slow down.
If your knee jerk reaction is to overreact, then pausing is a triumph in and of itself.
2. NAME WHAT YOU’RE FEELING AND BREATHE – Simply notice what you’re feeling and name it. For example: I’m mad. I am hurt. I feel like crying. (Said to yourself or out loud.)
3. Keep breathing deeply and gently until you feel better and calm enough to address the situation.
It’s what I did DAILY that literally transformed my life.
Now, they are so much a part of my daily routine that I don’t have to think about them.
My rituals are waiting there like a cozy couch.
A TYPICAL DAY.
Wake up > Say gratitude prayer. > Breathe > High vibe mantras. > Say I love you a few times (a great high vibe thought) > Roll out of bed. > Drink the best coffee ever. > Be quiet. > Affirmations > Eat something with salsa. > Do work I enjoy. > Remind myself I’m OK. > Exercise: 4 sit-ups > Ask myself how I feel. > Release uncomfortable emotion. > Be mindless for awhile. > Do work I enjoy. > Do some work I don’t enjoy, but accept. > Breathe > Eat Biscotti. > Surrender > Gratitude… REPEAT.
Now, do I also think negatively at times, worry a bit, be lazy, and eat food that will never biodegrade in my lifetime? SURE I DO!
However, it’s the 80/20 … or the 90/10 … or the 70/30 I don’t know!
Life is in the rituals … so, for the sake of enjoying your life, choose rituals that empower you and bring you peace.
When my kids were young, what I list above would have sounded impossible, but honestly, 90% of what’s listed above …. were totally possible!
Find what works for you and gives a nice flow to your day.
And most of all … that remind you of your 24/7 connection to yourself and something bigger than you.
With all that is happening, I’ve decided to work on something I’ve been working on for YEARS … but I need a lot more practice.
So, now is the perfect time.
As Pema Chodron, Buddhist nun says, This moment is the perfect teacher.
This moment is the perfect teacher.
So, what am I working on?
We’ve all heard about it. It’s being present in the moment, so we can take in the moment fully.
I LOVE the idea of it … AND yet, it’s rather hard to do.
And totally worth it.
We can hear guidance.
There are TWO reasons why we want to be present or practice mindfulness right now:
First, In the present moment … we can hear guidance.
We hear what we need to hear.
If you’ve been receiving my newsletter for some time, then you know I believe we ALL have a team in the spiritual world that is watching over us and helping us evolve and ultimately, fulfill our destiny.
Often this includes our loved ones who’ve passed.
Thankfully, I discovered this early on after my husband passed.
In the present moment … somehow A SPACE IS CREATED that invites in guidance.
Noticing the color of the sky and the sound of leaf blowers …
Whatever it is.
It’s the singular moment, and …. it’s right there.
Spirit seems to talk to us in these moments.
God, spirit or the universe … seems to talk to us in these moments.
And I love this so much I cannot begin to tell you.
So, when I walk each day I practice being present. I do this by saying to myself: Look.
I look around at all there is to look at and I focus on taking it in.
Yes, I get distracted and look at my phone to see what time it is:)
And yes, sometimes I get bored.
So, I notice this and say: Look …
And I look again.
Then, a few moments later I say: Listen.
And I try for a couple minutes to listen to the sounds of whatever is happening around me.
I simply listen.
Now, I am NOT listening for a spiritual kind whispering or anything like that. (Is there such a thing?)
Instead, I am listening to what is happening in the here and now.
From personal experience I can honestly say: It is ten times easier to work through the gambit of human emotion … in the present moment.
The second reason to be present.
And the second reason why it’s totally worth it to be present is …
And please forgive me for stating the obvious, but in the present moment we AREN’T WORRIED ABOUT THE FUTURE OR PAST.
We’re just right there … a human being having a human moment.
In the present.
Later, when you least expect it.
And then later … when you least expect it, you get a flash of certainty … or extreme warmth and joy … or insight … or answers.
It comes out of nowhere … and it TOTALLY rocks.
I hope you’re doing well during this interesting time:)
When life is stressful, and we don’t understand what is going on, and we are confused and fearing the unknown, we can check in with our thinking.
And choose thoughts that don’t make us feel worse:)
Trust me, I know I can get caught up in the frenzy!
This week, when I RAN to Costco to buy toilet paper since I heard the planet was never again going to have toilet paper (and instead I bought over 50 packages of tuna since they were out of T.P.) … I had to check myself!
Walking by the news crews and 20 people back in lines at Costco … and I was one of them .. and trying to not touch my shopping cart the entire time!
I just noticed … yes I did.
The last thing I need is to criticize myself! Life will be hard enough without toilet paper!!
Here’s what that can sound like:
Jeanne, you have the power to think differently.
Then I ask myself: Is what I’m thinking true?
Is what I am thinking about, worrying about, afraid of … going to happen?
MAYBE IT WILL AND MAYBE IT WON’T
The fact is: Maybe it will and maybe it won’t.
If you’re focusing on the worse possible scenario … just kindly catch yourself:)
Then, give yourself a big hug and think:
I don’t know what will happen and I can handle the unknown.
I’ve handled the unknown many times before and I’m still here to talk about it!
I don’t focus on the worst.
I don’t add to the negative energy.
When I’m afraid, I take a deep breathe … and then another.
We are all thinking constantly. It’s been measured that humans on average think around 60,000 thoughts a day. So don’t try to run away from them! Instead, practice relaxing with your thoughts while improving their quality.
One way to relax with your thoughts is to notice them without judgment. As we observe ourselves without judgment, we are developing a more loving relationship with ourselves, and tapping into our personal power.
What do you do when the negative, self-doubting, fear-based thoughts keep coming? First, remind yourself that you have the power to think differently. You really do. Then notice what you are thinking about. Just notice without judging. Look at your thoughts as though you are not attached to them.
They are just thoughts and can be changed in any moment.
Then ask yourself if these thoughts are true? Are they? Is what you are thinking about, worrying about … going to happen? Or are you thinking about the worst possible scenario? Over and over again? If you realize your thoughts are false, tell yourself that. “I know such and such isn’t true. I know it probably won’t happen. I’m just afraid it’ll happen.”
Then consciously choose better thoughts.
Thoughts that are worthy of your greatness.
You are a human being capable of unlimited change and growth. Believe that, because it’s true.
And if you don’t believe that yet, tell yourself you are developing your greatness. Because you are. We all are.