Am I good enough?

Am I good enough?
I am fascinated by this question because …
We’re born as sweet little children who believe we’re invincible … we’re good enough for anything.
Astronauts, rock stars, healers, lovers …
Then life slowly happens and we dial it down …
And frankly, this is JUST FINE, because we’re all meant for different things.

But, here’s where it gets interesting.

But, here’s where it gets interesting …
What is realistic for you?
Or a better question is:  What is right for you?
Is a soulmate relationship that is harmonious and very satisfying … is that right for you?
Is work that shares your talents and you enjoy it … is that right for you?
How about feeling comfortable in your own skin …
Or feeling secure within yourself.
Or feeling good enough.
Feeling good enough … even with being weak sometimes.
I have to confess, in my 20’s and 30’s I was literally terrified of appearing weak.
There’s a library of psychological data to explain my issue here … but let’s just say:  I hated weakness in general.
And I certainly hated it in myself.

It takes awhile to accept ourselves.

It took me a long while to accept any weaknesses …and to not run away from this part of me.
(Interesting that someone who teaches self-love had issues with weakness!  It’s all part of preparing ourselves …)
Anyway, back to … Am I good enough?
And here’s the answer:  Yes and … we have to face ourselves. 
As we face ourselves and love ourselves … we start to truly in our bones believe:
I’m good enough.
I am receiving greatness into my life.
I’m ready to put my baggage down.

We can put down the baggage we’re carrying.

As we love ourselves … the weight we’ve been carrying, we put it down.
Whatever burden we’ve been carrying … we slowly put it down.
And yes, we all have different burdens with different intensities … but, we can put it down.
And as we do, we begin feeling lighter.
We realize we do not have to go through life carrying a heavy burden.  
Thank goodness.
Seriously, thank goodness …
As we love ourselves, we lighten our load, and we feel good enough.

How I overcame my self-doubt with self-love.

I grew up feeling largely afraid. Being a child of an alcoholic parent, I never knew what was going to happen.
As an adult, I did what I could to heal this, but a lot of the work I did was only a band-aid.
Then over ten years ago, I lost my husband and soulmate of 23 years.
The bottom fell out so to speak, leading to my feeling tremendous fear and insecurity.
But an inner voice wouldn’t leave me alone and I refused to live in fear any longerI needed to live the life I knew was out there for me.
This lead me to a wonderful and winding inner journey towards self-love.
And at the end of my journey, I discovered what truly sustains us: our ability to love ourselves … and ultimately others.
We can love ourselves through our losses, the regrets, the survivor’s guilt … the fear, and the inadequacy.
This is self-love … loving ourselves in our actual pain, our joy, and our very own personal experiences.

As I loved myself, I began feeling very secure … and that feels incredible.

After a lifetime tiptoeing my way through every possible rejection, and watching my every word, and holding back on what I knew I wanted, I now feel completely secure in who I am and I did this with self-love.
I took a holistic approach to self-love: I changed my thinking, how I experience my emotions, my spiritual commitment, daily practices … and much more.
Now, I’ve created an online course that teaches the exact steps I took and have taught to others.

Happy new year … emphasis on NEW!

Each year we get to start fresh.  I truly believe that.  The ending of a year is significant.
We get only so many years in one life … and each calendar year marks what we’ve learned, what we saw, and what we did.
A lot is packed into one year.

Consider this

So, in the spirit of starting the year with a clean slate, consider this:  You deserve love, you deserve success, you deserve to be happy.
Sure, you have some work to do to get there … but that’s not so bad right?
What better thing is there to do?
Anew (definition): in a new or different and typically more positive way.
No matter what we’ve done that we wish we hadn’t … we get to begin anew.

Some road under my shoes

While I say this to you in a lighthearted way … I’m saying it with some road under my shoes.
I, like many of you, have said and done things I’d love to redo.
If only …
I’ve made mistakes, struggled, and looked like a fool.  And after all of that … no surprise here, I’ll doubt myself.
When we stumble … we doubt ourselves.
I understand … like Ph. D. level understanding, how it feels to truly doubt yourself in some area of life.
Yet NOW …  I help others overcome self-doubt, self-judgment, self-rejection and love themselves.
Because I believe in it.
But, only after I’ve learned to love myself.

We make a message of our mess

Have you heard the saying:  We make a message of our mess?
Well, it’s true.
Whatever mess you’ve made, you get to clean it up and then, possibly, help others clean up the messes of their lives.
None of us are getting out of this unscathed right?
We all get to stumble and make a message of our mess.
Happy new year to YOU and may you begin anew.
May you love yourself enough to begin anew.

Are you wondering … is self-love selfish?

Is self-love selfish?

No … of course not!
Because wanting to be a better person is not selfish.
Self-love comes from three areas … and it is not selfish to think about them:
1. Living with purpose.
2. Growing our self-esteem and sense of security.
3. Believing in ourselves.
Living with purpose is pursuing OUR WAY of making the world better.
This way we share our gifts with the world … which we are meant to do. 
It’s a win, win this way ….
Living with purpose is saying to yourself:
I’m good at this … now go do it and don’t doubt it!
Second, self-esteem is respecting and no longer rejecting ourselves.
Instead, we become secure in who we are.
We feel secure in our own skin a goal worth fighting for.
And third, belief is honoring our spiritual nature.
The part of us that is connected to something sacred and eternal that wants our highest good.
When we keep this in mind, we realize we are far more than our limiting beliefs.
Self-love comes in many forms … and it’s certainly a journey to arrive there.
However, it’s an extremely worthwhile journey … one that positively impacts everyone around you.
When we love ourselves, we have more love to give.
Wishing you a happy and healthy new year!


“I love you”, she heard herself say …

“I love you,”
she heard herself say.
She leaned into the stone,
and the stone moved its way.
In this stanza from The Butterfly Silhouette, the caterpillar has been struggling in a puddle, and she is stuck beneath a stone.
She’s scared and wonders if she’ll break free.
Who is she speaking to?
Herself?  God?  Someone else?  The universe?
The reader can decide.
For me … she felt love for herself and a higher power in that moment.
And this is one and the same.
When the caterpillar is stuck and can’t move and fears the end is near … she is no longer thinking.
She surrenders.
And in this place the only words she utters are:  I love you.
She felt both loved and loving.
In those moments we KNOW we are so much more than our earthly experience.
We have an experience of loving in spite of
Ten years ago, I would NEVER have even used the term self-love, I would have found it cliche and dare I say it, self absorbed …
No longer.  Not a bit.
On a following page, after the caterpillar moved the stone:
She passed through a threshold,
as some creatures do.
In the puddle’s dark depths,
she learned what was true.
When we love ourselves despite being laid out in a puddle, underneath a stone …
THEN, we’ve found something precious.
Because lack of self-love keeps stones in our way.

And we need to move that stone:)

#self-love, #purpose