The purest, deepest part of you.

The purest, deepest part of you.

You hear about tuning in to your children, your partner, or your surroundings …

And we know that means to lean into what they’re feeling…
Or what is happening.
But, what does it mean to tune in to yourself?
It means to drop into what your soul needs.
Now… how is this any different than what YOU need?
A soul need is a deeper need. It’s a bottom line need.
Since the soul is the essence of who you are, it’s slightly different than who YOU are.
Because YOU have a body and circumstances, both of which are temporary.
While the soul is eternal and connected.
So to illustrate with a very light example…
If you’re craving chocolate cake… is this something your soul wants?
Maybe.
Or maybe your soul wants deeper nourishment?
If chocolate cake will give you true nourishment, awesome:)
However, tune in to your soul and see… is this nourishing me?
It might be.  It might not be…
It’s between you and your soul to decide.
How lovely a convo is that?
Your soul knows.
No judgment, just leaning in and having a conversation with the deepest, purest, most present part of you.
Giving yourself what you need.

Giving yourself what you need.

So, how do you care for your soul… in a topsy-turvey world?
And what does that even mean??
Care of the soul assumes that life is topsy-turvey.
So, don’t let it disappoint you or cause you to become too discouraged.
Because as you know, life is a roller coaster of things we don’t expect.
And so instead, we care for the soul.
We make sure our soul is doin’ alright down here…
For example:
We pause throughout the day. We take deep breaths. We do work that feeds the soul. We avoid negative people and negative thinking. We put ourselves in situations that lift us up.  We feel what we feel.  We BELIEVE in ourselves.  We believe in an unlimited universe that will survive. We don’t give up on ourselves.  We’re GOOD to ourselves daily…
I feel better just writing that:)
And as you care for yourself in this deeper, life affirming way, you’re experiencing connection and aliveness.
You experience the part of life that can’t be explained
It wasn’t until I stumbled upon caring for my soul… that a glimmer of something true, something deeper, and something eternally satisfying emerged within me.
Why does the soul offer so much?
Because this part of you knows the truth about you and your specific place in the world.
AND because… this part of you is connected to the unlimited.
And, this part of you has the power to overcome any self-doubt you have.
You can lean into your soul 100%.
And THAT feels really good, since leaning into something solid in 2020… is extremely comforting. 🧡
Be well and safe.
Can we enjoy life anyway?

Can we enjoy life anyway?

Enjoying life during this challenging time might seem absurd, but please bear with me.
This year has been unfathomable … And it continues.
But, let’s not focus on that right now.
What if this was your LAST year of life?
Or if this was your last week?
Maybe you’d jump in your car and drive until you hit water, and dive in and swim to the nearest island and meet an islander and drink rum.
Or you’d serial watch your favorite guilty pleasure while wolfing down buttery popcorn and dark chocolate.
Or you’d simply sit and watch people walk by your front door.
One after another, strolling by, getting their kids out of the house … or themselves.
You’d want to take IT ALL IN.
The truth is, we want to enjoy life … be in love, be healthy, enjoy our work and children, travel, etc.
And enjoy the simple pleasures …
But, life doesn’t always go so smoothly.
Each of us can list a number of things that have happened in our lives that have caused us to ask: What the heck?
And I mean … seriously, what the heck?
However, we can decide to enjoy life anyway.
There will be bad days and bad moments.
Yep.
And yet, there are things to enjoy.
Even in this smoke filled part of the world where we can barely leave the house because the air is filled with soot … on top of a worldwide virus.
But, I digress.
We can commit to enjoy life, most of it, some of it, 4 or 5 minutes a day …
And to underline Mary Oliver’s final line at the end of her remarkable poem, The Summer Day:
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?
Feeling calm in the midst of chaos.

Feeling calm in the midst of chaos.

Care of the soul includes doing things that help you feel calm throughout the day, even when the world around you is chaotic.
When you’re caring for your deeper needs, YOU are the calm one that others gravitate toward.
Like your husband and children…
And why will they do this?
Because they feel SAFE with you. 
They know you’re there for them, calm and patient when the rest of life is… too much.
The world and its problems don’t unravel you.
Just like you’re OK with you own imperfections.
And this calm and patience comes from this DEEP well within you.
Kids love being around that.  Men love being around that.
We love being around that … And yet, while I was a loving wife and mother …
I used to be stressed out, anxious, and easily upset.
This was NOT a good look on me.
On my tombstone my sons might have written: We loved her, but wish she would have taken a deep breath and a very long vacation.
Thankfully, I breathe easily now.
And here’s the good news …
As we care for our deeper needs and connect within, we forgive the things we’ve said and done … and we have more to give.

 

Energy Vampires … and why it’s not worth it.

Christiane Northrup, M.D. is helping us understand how we can evade energy vampires.
I’m grateful because this topic comes up A LOT in my work as a soul coach.  The power of thought and how negative thinking is literally killing people is the main theme in my futuristic book, The Thought Store.
Have you ever walked away from someone feeling blah or angry or anxious, and wondering what the heck happened?
And then you’re wondering how you got sucked in?
Because, the subject people seem to be bothered by, more than any other subject, is other people.

We can’t live with them, can’t live without them!

Can’t live with them … can’t live without them! 🙂
Other people is the number one reason people leave their jobs.
And sometimes, only sometimes … those “other people” are energy vampires.
Christiane Northrup’s best selling book:  Dodging Energy Vampires: An Empath’s Guide to Evading Relationships that Drain You and Restoring Your Health and Power, talks about this issue in depth.
And hey … we’ve all had bad days or months.  Quite honestly, when my husband passed away, I wasn’t fun to be around for years.
It was tough, and I had to nurse my wounds for a long time.
But, do you have someone you’ve known forever and you feel drained by the relationship?
Or maybe you’ve known them for a short time, and you didn’t realize they were slowly draining the life out of you?
If you want a harmonious and fun life, this includes NOT allowing yourself to be drained by other people, even if you feel badly for them.

Thoughts to empower you.

You can affirm:

I love you, I forgive you, I’m letting you go.

I deserve peace.

I am only allowing peaceful relationships in my life.

I allow myself to protect my energy.

When I feel drained, I will take a look at what’s happening.

I am committed to being around good energy.

I am attracted loving, responsible, caring, empowered people into my life.

I am letting you go.

 

The power of the PAUSE

The power of the PAUSE

The power of the pause is a simple technique for being calm and less reactive with your spouse, your kids, your friends, your parents, the noisy neighbor, and the adorable teenager who refuses to clean out his car, etc.
Let’s say something happens that gets your temperature up!  Someone says or does something annoying, disrespectful, oblivious … Oops sorry, I got carried away.
Anyway, you’re upset.  Maybe your blood is starting to boil …
The moment this happens, use the power of the pause:
1.  Think PAUSE – Just stop. This simple and seemingly tiny act of bravery is larger than you think. BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW IT’S REALLY HARD TO PAUSE WHEN OUR JUICES ARE FLOWING!
Pausing gives us a chance to slow down.
If your knee jerk reaction is to overreact, then pausing is a triumph in and of itself.
2.  NAME WHAT YOU’RE FEELING AND BREATHE – Simply notice what you’re feeling and name it.  For example:  I’m mad.  I am hurt. I feel like crying. (Said to yourself or out loud.)
3.  Keep breathing deeply and gently until you feel better and calm enough to address the situation.
Dr. Dan Siegel, a professor of psychiatry at the UCLA school of medicine, coined the phrase: Name it To Tame it … in the brain.
NAME IT TO TAME IT
He teaches parents how to coach their children when the children are upset.
The principles apply to adults as well.  When we name an emotion, the brain sends soothing neurotransmitters to the limbic system, the part of the brain that wants to run away.
Soothing … I love the sound of that.
For instance, when a child is scared, just naming it and saying: I’m scared, helps her calm down.
The more accurate you can be in naming the emotion, the better the result.
That’s why it helps for parents to be in tune with their children, to help them name their emotion.
By the same token, it’s important for adults to be in tune with themselves! 
Being able to stay calm in the storm isn’t easy.
However, as we care for our deeper needs, we feel calmer and more steady.

That’s all for now … I’ll be following up with more about how you can let your calmer, steady side prevail.