how to find yourself, metamorphosis course: step into your destiny

How to Find Yourself: 5 Soulful Ways to Find Guidance

On your search for how to find yourself, ask for guidance.

Human beings are complicated. Life is complicated. And self-discovery isn’t so straight forward, so we need help!

5 Ways to Find Yourself Using Guidance

Here are 5 ways to find guidance about yourself and your life…

  • Find yourself spiritually
  • Leave your comfort zone
  • Turn off your brain
  • Use positive self-talk
  • Connect with your higher self

1. Find yourself spiritually

Are you a spiritual being… or not so much? Part of finding yourself is finding yourself spiritually.

And, keep your unique soul’s evolution in mind because you are here in this life to learn and grow.

To find clarity and guidance, ask these questions…

Clarity and Guidance Questions

Finding yourself involves asking key questions to get clarity and guidance about your life.

What would you have me do?

Ask this question to a power bigger than you that runs through you. Your personal beliefs are yours! They’re personal! So, ask God, Source, Universe, nature, Buddha, and there are many others… what would you have me do?

What is best in this situation?

Again, you are directing this question upward, outward… and to a greater, benevolent power.

What do I need to learn here?

From a spiritual standpoint, our struggles teach us things. So ask a greater power: Please tell me, what do I need to pay attention to? What do I need to learn? Help me know!

What can I give here?

You are here to share your talents and gifts with the world. However, it’s often confusing what that looks like! So ask… What can I give here… what does it look like?

Help me connect with oneness.

If you don’t want to ask questions… and you simply want to connect with your spiritual side say: Help me connect with oneness. Set your intention.

And when you ask, ask from the heart. And answers don’t come right away, although sometimes they do. Sometimes answers come when we least expect them. But, remain open and make time to hear guidance.

I’ve been shown over and over, by both my husband who passed away who is a spirit guide, and my spirit guides… that there is a higher power.

We are guided along each of our paths, every step of the way.

Finding yourself requires that you see your spiritual nature. The part of you that is unlimited and directly connected.

And, you have an entire spirit team ready and eager to help you find your true self.

Soul Power

The soul is directly connected to a power far greater than you are… that runs through you.

How to find yourself, connect with the soul.

Since the soul is the essence of who you are, how to find yourself will become clear as you connect with this still, knowing part within you, your soul.

How to find yourself requires that you connect with your own soul, even if unconsciously.

As a soul coach, this is obviously the focus of my work and I talk more about the soul here.

And I talk about being soulful here.

2. Leave your comfort zone

As you leave what’s comfortable, you’ll need help! And there’s no better time to find answers than when you’re uncomfortable!

Leaving your comfort zone is a subject that’s very near and dear to me. And it’s spiritual because we have to face the unknown.

When you’re looking into the dark, or down into a chasm, you need something to lean on.

My entire book The Butterfly Silhouette is about leaving the life that’s comfortable and venturing into the unknown.

This is what I was called to do when my husband passed away.

Maybe you’ve had to find yourself again after a loss.

So, in my book, my heroine caterpillar is lost and confused and looks up into the sky asking if anyone is listening. She’s looking up… which is a spiritual act!

A mentor butterfly swoops down to the ground in answer to her prayers.. and their quest to find herself begins.

At first, she doubts herself.

She looks down and sees only 16 legs… and wonders if her future can ever be more.

So she has to venture into the unknown.

Sometimes that’s leaving a negative situation, unhealthy relationships, unfulfilling work, or leaving what feels easy and comfortable because something more is calling you.

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Another way to leave your comfort zone is to open up to the idea that your thoughts are energy and have good vibes or low vibes.

Which is your comfort zone?

Either way, send positive thoughts to people who are soul mates on your path… it’s a way to practice positive thinking and connect in a different way.

3. Turn off your brain

In the quest to find yourself, your true self, turn off your brain to hear spiritual guidance.

How are you going to hear important stuff if you’re not quiet for a moment or more??

So, take a moment each day to just be and listen, and live in the moment.

I read once, in a groundbreaking book called Journey of Souls, that the reason our souls can’t hear guidance is that we don’t turn off our brains long enough to hear it.

A higher power can’t get through to us because we’re constantly thinking!!

And so, it’s important that we have some way to turn off the brain… or at least slow it down.

Frankly, I don’t know if I’ve ever turned off my brain, but I slow it down enough to hopefully hear what my guides are telling me.

Apparently, slowing down the brain is enough because I receive guidance regularly.

So, whether it’s in meditation or just sitting in a room and staring out of a window, letting your thoughts come and go while you focus on your breath, this is slowing down the active mind.

Don’t be disappointed if you don’t hear anything.

If you take the time to just stop and be, and nothing, and mean nothing in the form of spiritual guidance pops into your life, don’t be too disappointed.

As you commit to a regular practice of connecting in the ways listed in this article, you will become more receptive to the spiritual guidance that’s around you.

Finding yourself will begin to unfold.

Furthermore, as you connect with your soul more and more, you’ll strengthen your connection to the spiritual world, and therefore, your mission in this life.

Connecting with your soul is the foundation of finding yourself.

However, the guidance doesn’t always hit us in the head, it can sneak in the back door as well.

In Rebecca Rosen’s book, Spirited, she gives lots and lots of useful advice for how to recognize spiritual guidance.

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Turn to your breath

In my daily practice, I’ve found that if I show up and just be with my breath, the spiritual guidance comes eventually.

Not always right away.

Maybe it’ll come while I’m driving somewhere. It just kind of pops in my head. Or I’m making dinner and it just kind of pops into my head at that time.

Or, I’m on one of my walks, and it’ll come to me then.

To find your true self, it’s helpful to connect with your breath, the most obvious aspect of you, regularly.

What does finding yourself mean?

Finding yourself means… discovering who you are at your core, the soul. Specifically, what you’re capable of doing, who you’re capable of helping, what you will accomplish, what you must learn in this life, and what you must express.

4. Use positive self-talk

To find yourself, talk to yourself with growing self love.

Your self-talk will include asking for guidance regularly!

You owe it to yourself and this universe to talk to yourself in a way that honors your unique role in it all.

You have an important role you play… and your self-talk must acknowledge that.

Negative self-talk is when you’re critical of yourself and your inner critic is talking too darn much! You see fault in areas you don’t need to.

So, practice positive self-talk because you’re programming your brain to believe in you.

Think about it, how can you find yourself if your filter is negative about you? You can’t!

Practicing self-talk that is self-loving, self-compassionate, and leaves room for failures and mistakes is part of finding yourself.

However, it’s also important to look honestly at yourself and your responsibility in the things that are happening.

And the right self love questions will help you make your self-talk more self-loving and accepting.

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5. Connect with your higher self

Your higher self will offer you guidance. It’s the part of you that is all-knowing.

You can read more about the soul and higher self in my post 9 Amazing Ways to Define a Soulful Person.

And here’s 11 Ways to Define Soul.

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As you connect with your higher self, you uncover all that you want to know about yourself.

Here are some questions for your higher self:

What do I need here?

What must I do or it’ll feel like my soul isn’t being fed?

What do I need that I’ve neglected within myself?

What do I need for nourishment?

What is the main thought that is holding me back?

Prayers and mantras.

Saying mantras and prayers throughout the day is a great way to clear your head, create safe space, and connect with your higher self.

My favorite mantra is: I am where God is. God is within me.

In this state of mind, how can you not find yourself??

And I say this throughout the day because it’s acknowledging that I am part of a divine plan.

In this state of receptivity, you’re basically crying out to the universe that you’re ready to receive more information about who you are and what you’re meant to do with your life.

Divine guidance is any impulses, feelings, emotions, thoughts, ideas, and signs that you get from your higher self or a higher power.

This is an intelligent universe

Even though life is filled with suffering, the goal of the universe is to evolve and heal the planet.

And while the world is largely chaotic and there’s no disputing that, there’s hard-to-believe intelligence behind the scenes.

I count on that and have witnessed this time and again in my own life as well as other people’s lives.

In our daily lives, we do not walk this path alone.

Thank goodness.

Life is challenging on every level and we need help finding ourselves within the struggle. That’s where guidance comes in.

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Self-discovery and gratitude

As we are in a state of gratitude, we’re receptive to our own higher natures.

We see things more clearly, so self-discovery is possible.

As we see clearly… obviously, we see ourselves clearly.

After I ask to be guided in regard to all aspects of my life: my personal life, business, love life, my sons, and my personal passions, I say thank you.

Part of daily gratitude is expressing your gratitude for what you get to do. Not what you feel you have to do.

There’s a difference in mindset that’s very important there.

For example, I get to do this work. I get to care for my children. I get to care for my body. I get to cook food I enjoy.

This is why gratitude is necessary for how to find yourself. In gratitude, we’re telling the universe that we’re ready for more goodness to flow into our lives. We’re ready to step into our full potential.

Be open, listen, share your heart, listen, and say thank you when you receive guidance.

When does spiritual guidance come?

Along your spiritual journey, if you ask a question and something comes along shortly afterward, within a day or so, that seems to directly answer your question, consider it as guidance.

However, be aware of when you’re having a trailed thought or sequence of thoughts that are simply your busy mind versus guidance.

A trailed thought versus guidance

You’re having a trailed thought when one thought leads to another. For example, I need to go to the grocery store. > I need to buy healthier food. > I eat too much junk. > I drink too much when I’m with Joe. > I need to go exercise more and take care of my body.

Now, that final thought about taking care of your body… is a trailed thought, not necessarily guidance. It may be very true!! But, it’s not guidance. Because that thought followed a sequence of thoughts from your busy and in this case, helpful mind!

It’s guidance if you’ve been wondering if you should join a gym, but you’ve been procrastinating. You ask for guidance: Should I join a gym? Will that work for me? Then, out of nowhere, you get this strong thought and feeling to join a gym…

Then, it’s more likely guidance.

It’s important to note, this is not a science.

It’s not.

So, you must practice asking for guidance over time with the intention of being your true self.

You will get a feel for what is guidance and what is not as you do this more.

However, sometimes you’ll be totally confused, and that’s OK too. Sometimes God, Source, universe, or our guides allow us to remain

Personality and temperament.

Think of your personality and temperament as part of your individual makeup, NOT who you are.

You will use these aspects of yourself to fulfill the needs of the soul.

A big part of self love is accepting your individual temperament and personality.

Temperament is inborn, while personality is both inborn and formed by a number of external factors.

Your personality and temperament are given to you to help you fulfill your mission in this life. You are not expected to be like others!

And while understanding your personality and temperament is also part of how to find yourself, these parts of you are secondary to who you are in the soul.

Your spirit team

You have an entire spirit team that wants to help you find yourself, your true self. So when you feel overwhelmed or alone, lean on them!

Are you wondering why they would help you?

Because you have someone you’re meant to be and the universe wants you to BE THAT.

You’ve heard the saying: Do you?

Yea, that’s what God/source/universe wants for you.

And, you may have to leave what’s comfortable to do that.

Sometimes that’s leaving a negative situation, unhealthy relationships, unfulfilling work, or leaving what feels easy and comfortable because something more is calling you.

Final thoughts

If you feel uncomfortable with your life, you’re losing yourself, or lost in your career or relationship, or personally… then it’s probably a sign to go on a quest to yourself, to find yourself.

And finding joy again takes some time and inner work.

Just like my caterpillar did in the book I mention above.

She was meant to be a butterfly.

And metaphorically, so are you.

A key component is asking for guidance, so you’ll know you’re going in the right direction.

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