How to Have a Beautiful Relationship With Yourself

relationship with yourself

Be there for yourself in times of triumph and struggle.

Whether you wish you had more self-love, patience with yourself, or you could let go of the past, the healthier your relationship with yourself, the better.

As a soul coach committed to helping people love themselves and have a close, best friend kind of relationship with themselves, I offer insights you probably haven’t thought of.

You’re seeking a closer, healthy relationship with yourself with unconditional self-love and emotional freedom.

Or maybe it’s something else? But, I’m glad you’re here.

In this article, I outline 5 areas of life for you to have a healthy relationship with yourself. Let’s get started…

5 ways to have a positive relationship with yourself

Have a great relationship with you know who… by paying attention to these 5 things.

  • Pay attention to how you feel
  • Think high-vibration™
  • Express what’s within you waiting to come out
  • Self-nurture
  • Make time for quiet
inner world, important relationship, self relationship,

1. Pay attention to how you feel

A healthy relationship with yourself requires that you pay attention to how you feel.

As you feel, you heal. And that makes for a good relationship with your emotions.

That’s the way the body is made. In my post on 32 emotional release methods I offer a lot of good advice on how to move emotional energy out!

This is key.

Because it’s how we’ve been hurt in the past that sabotages our mental health and our relationship with the self.

In addition to doing some kind of regular emotional release, that includes crying, journaling, expressing your emotions, etc., be emotionally aware.

Meaning, pay attention to how you feel by asking the simple question: How am I feeling? Am I vibing with this person, this place?

Then, drop into your body and see! Your heart will benefit:)

As you do the emotional work, you’re healing and moving OUT old accumulated emotional energy.

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The middle way

The middle way is a zen practice of not indulging or repressing how you feel.

It’s having the ability to feel your emotions without diving into a pool of self-pity, self-loathing… and self, self, self!

While also not ignoring how you feel, because you want to wear your “big girl pants”!

This old saying asks us to ignore stuff we shouldn’t be ignoring!

Instead, find the middle way.

I talk about this concept in classes I teach and I personally use it every day.

In The Wisdom of No Escape: How to Love Yourself And Your World by Buddhist nun Pema Chodron, she writes…

“Everybody’s middle way is a different middle way. Everyone practices in order to find out for him or herself personally how to be balanced, how to be not too tight and not too loose. No one else can tell you. You just have to find out for yourself.”

She’s amazing.

Simply put, the middle way is resting in the middle of the emotion.

Don’t indulge it.

Don’t repress it.

Let it be there.

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2. Think high-vibration!

It’s essential to a healthy relationship with yourself that you learn to think high-vibration.

Negative thoughts will injure self confidence, no doubt about it.

I speak extensively about the power of thought, I’ve written a book on the subject and I’m passionate about it!

Because your thoughts will either help you fulfill your destiny or your dreams… or not.

It’s not more complicated than that!

Your thoughts literally have a vibration frequency!

It’s why you’ll want to choose positive thinking skills , what I call high-vibe thinking™ that supports you, loves you, and guides your soul to your destiny.

To overcome the habit of negative thinking, here are 8 positive thinking exercises to help you.

I also recommend reading The Thought Store, about a fictional retail store in the future that sells thoughts in physical form.

The town is slowly dying from a made up disease called Solidification, where people turn into statues from negative thinking.

3. Self-expression is everything

Self-expression is essential to a fulfilling life.

Express what’s within you waiting to come out.

I could write an entire book on this topic. But, let me start here: You must express what’s within you.

Are you wondering…. how do I know what my soul wants to express??

Excellent question!

This takes time and attention. Sit with the feelings of I MUST... sit with them over time and see if they stay with you.

When the soul has a longing for something, the positive emotions will stay with you.

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4. Self-nurture

Self-nurturing is when you feel like you’re disconnected from yourself and/or the world… you have the ability to give yourself the comfort and nourishment you need.

Without guilt. Without apology. Without shame.

Years ago when I was in therapy, my very wise therapist gave me audios to listen to with affirmations to remind me of my own strength.

To remind me of my inner resources.

She used the term: Self-soothing.

To remind me that I could… handle it, whatever it was.

Susan Jeffers Ph. D.’s phenomenal book, Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway offers insight into finding your courage and strength.

Being able to nourish yourself on a deeper level, is a beautiful skill for a healthy relationship with yourself.

Here are affirmations of self-love to help you on your journey to a more loving relationship with the self.

Self nurturing is part of any good self care routine.

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Practice gratitude

As you practice gratitude, you’re putting in positive energy, which makes you feel good.

Clearly, gratitude is soothing, comforting.

Here are affirmations for gratitude to jump start your day.

When you’re feeling negative emotions, catch yourself and FEEL it first, then think of what you’re grateful for. This will most certainly soothe you and give you hope.

5. Make time for quiet

Quiet, meditation, turning off your mind, all of these things are the baseline for a spiritual life and healthy relationship with yourself.

So, just try some amount of time each day away from a family member, friend, or other close relationships.

Even if it’s just a few minutes.

You can build up from there.

There is a lot of information out there on how to mediate or find quiet.

I love this book by Jon Kabat Zinn: Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life. It has everything you need.

You can even do a moving meditation. Where you’re walking or running and focusing your attention on your breath, what you see, what you hear from within.

It’s the focusing your attention part that’s the thing you’ll want to practice.

Be a bear and hibernate

Be a bear and hibernate from time to time.

It doesn’t have to be winter!

Go be away from people, sounds… people and sounds:)

I have this ritual, when I need to REALLY retreat for just 10 minutes, of sitting my closet!

It’s big. It’s quiet. And I love it in there.

You heard it here!

Find a place you feel safe and you can decompress from the stresses of everyday life.

bear, self relationship

Be out in nature

It’s much easier to be quiet out in nature, one of the big advantages of nature.

Find a natural place, with few people, and listen to the natural environment.

Buy a journal for your thoughts.

Hear the breeze, the birds, the trees, water flowing… it will definetly connect you to nature and yourself.

I’ve come to believe that we’re each wired differently. It really depends on what your soul needs.

So, I went looking for anything that would validate my deep desire to express myself.

I was drawn to books, authors, people, and places that respected my unique soul and individual authentic expression

The way to know which way to go is to have a loving relationship with yourself.

And, trust where that takes you.

As I listened to the still, quiet voice within, this became clear to me.

What you need to learn and grow is already within you.

As you deepen your relationship with yourself and a higher power, the answers will unfold. You are a co-creator.

Soul-searching is good too

While you’re making time for quiet, some soul searching will help you grow self acceptance and answers to nagging problems.

Maybe you’re confused which way to go in life.

Or you’re stuck on a problem.

Soul searching is introspective time where you pay extra attention to what you need. I talk about that more in my blog post on soul-searching

That’s the nuts and bolts of being soulful. Paying close attention to what you need… on a deep level.

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Final thoughts

Be a good friend to yourself, your own best friend.

That’s the dream right?

Not to mention how good it is for your mental health and a healthier relationship with your partner and others.

Being able to give yourself the love, respect, and nourishment you need in this life. Where your inner world feels nurtured.

As you have a healthy relationship with yourself, you’re able to be there for yourself no matter what is happening in the world around you.

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