How To Overcome Self-Rejection And Accept Yourself


Self-rejection is one of the saddest habits… for the soul-centered life.

Self-rejection is a horrible voice that you want to turn off… but it keeps repeating.

Many people struggle with self-rejection, a harmful pattern of negative self-assessment and self-doubt that can impact every aspect of life.

As a lover of the soul, and a reformed self-rejecting person… I’m vigilant about any form of self-rejection.

You’re possibly rejecting yourself and you’re looking for strategies to stop.

Let’s dive into what self-rejection is and help you overcome it, so you’ll be more self-loving.

What is Self-Rejection?

Self-rejection occurs when you consistently devalue your own worth and abilities.

It involves an internal dialogue where you criticize, undermine, and reject yourself.

This mindset can lead to a lack of confidence, low self-esteem, and not honoring your true self.

According to Nathanial Brandon, author of Honoring The Self: Self-esteem and Personal Transformation, the main reason people don’t grow self-esteem is that they are consistently self-rejecting.

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Overcoming self-rejection

The following strategies will help you stop self-rejection so that you can embrace the contents of your amazing soul.

1. Cultivate self acceptance

The path to self acceptance and a loving self-concept includes feeling all of the murky emotions that arise in your life.

The only way past is through.

To cultivate self-acceptance, befriend your emotions.

I cannot emphasize enough the importance of this: We feel it to heal it.

Here are over 30 emotional release techniques to help you feel and heal.

2. Recognize low vibe thoughts

Low vibe, negative thoughts are dismissive of you.

Challenging low-vibe thoughts is a crucial step in overcoming self-rejection and growing self-acceptance.

Here’s how you can effectively confront and change these destructive patterns.

The first step is awareness. Pay attention to your self-talk and recognize when you’re being self-critical.

Common low-vibe thoughts include…

I’m not good enough.

I always mess things up.

People don’t like me.

Examine the Evidence

Once you’ve identified a negative thought, ask yourself: Is what I’m thinking about true?

This is thinking habit #2 in my book, The Thought Store.


What evidence supports this thought?

What evidence contradicts it?

Often, you’ll find that low energy thoughts are based on assumptions rather than facts.

For instance, if you think, “I always mess things up,” recall specific instances where you succeeded or handled challenges well.

Prove your negative inner dialogue wrong!

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Choose a high-vibe thought

Transform fear-based thoughts into more balanced, positive ones, what I call high-vibe thoughts because they give you energy, not take your energy away away.

This doesn’t mean ignoring problems, but not jumping to self criticism.

For example…

Instead of I’m not good enough, think: I’m doing my best in this moment.

Instead of People don’t like me, think: Not everyone will like me, and that’s okay. I value the relationships I have.

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Positive affirmations during the day

Use high-vibe thoughts to reinforce your value and strength.

You are far more powerful than you believe right now.

Be hyper-aware of your tendency to self reject and by catching yourself before a negative downward spiral.

Statements like I am capable, I deserve happiness, and I am worthy help rewire your brain to think more positively over time.

I write extensively about the power of thought and how to dramatically improve the quality of your thinking.

And, I teach these concepts in healthcare to help clinicians overcome stress and burnout.

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Practice Self-Compassion

Have self compassion for all you’ve been through, by treating yourself with the kindness you would offer a friend.

If a friend made a mistake, you wouldn’t berate them; you’d encourage them.

When you reject yourself, especially consistently over time, it’s hurtful to you.

But, you knew that.

The self-love journey is a long one and one of the most important you will take.

One of my favorite articles in the one I wrote with over 200 affirmations for self-love. Say 5 or more a day and you’ll slowly process them.

Apply the same compassion to yourself. Acknowledge your efforts and progress, even when things don’t go perfectly.

Seek Professional Support

Negativity is often can be deeply ingrained.

Therapists and counselors can provide techniques and tools to help you challenge and change these thoughts more effectively.

We need help when the problems go deep.

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Regular Reflection

Make it a habit to reflect on your thoughts regularly. Journaling can be a great tool for this. Write down fear-based, low energy thoughts and practice reframing them.

Over time, you’ll catch more of your negativity.

And much of our negativity is of the ego.

By consistently challenging your ego you will cultivate a more positive and realistic identity, which is essential for overcoming self-rejection and building self-esteem.

3. Increase self-awareness

Cultivating self-awareness is a transformative process that involves understanding your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors.

This heightened awareness allows you to make conscious choices, improve your emotional intelligence, and create personal growth.

Here’s are ways you can cultivate self-awareness effectively…

Mindfulness meditation 101

Mindfulness meditation is a powerful tool for developing self-awareness.

But, you knew that!

The key is doing it… even if it seems boring.

However, by focusing on the present moment, you can observe your thoughts and feelings without judgment.

Here’s a basic primer for meditation 101:

Find a quiet space.

Focus on your breath.

Observe your thoughts and emotions.

Practice regularly, even a few minutes a day.

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Writing down your thoughts and experiences helps clarify your feelings and enhances self-reflection.

Here are some journaling tips:

Set aside aside time each day. Just a few minutes to write what’s in you.

As you’re writing be honest and notice any self-judgement.

With your morning coffee, review what you’ve written and reflect on it… See any patterns or insights you may have.

To help you even more, here are journal prompts for self-love.

Seek Feedback

Constructive feedback from others can provide valuable perspectives that you might not see yourself.

Consider trying this…

Ask people you trust for feedback.

Be open to helpful feedback from people who are supportive.

Take time to reflect on the feedback… or it’ll come and go and you won’t have benefitted from it.

Engage in self-reflection exercises

Structured self-reflection exercises can deepen your self-awareness.

Here are a few examples…

Do a SWOT Analysis – Where you evaluate your Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, and Threats.

Also, you can create a timeline of significant events from your life and reflect on how they have impacted you.

Practice Active Listening

Listening actively to others can enhance your understanding of your own communication style and interpersonal dynamics.

Here’s how to improve your listening skills…

Focus Fully on the Speaker: Avoid distractions and give the speaker your full attention.

Reflect and Clarify: Paraphrase what the speaker has said to ensure understanding and show that you are engaged.

Observe Non-Verbal Cues: Pay attention to body language and tone of voice, which can reveal underlying emotions.

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4. Emotional regulation strategies

Understanding and feeling your emotions is a critical aspect of self-awareness.

Try these strategies for allowing your feelings and having more emotional intelligence.

  • Recognize situations or interactions that trigger strong emotions.
  • Before reacting, take a moment to breathe and consider your response.
  • Naming your emotions can help you understand and manage them better.
  • In addition, here is a positive emotions list to help you identify feelings that make you feel great!

5. Set personal goals

Setting and pursuing personal goals can enhance self-awareness by clarifying your desires and motivations.

Try these steps…

  • Ensure your goals are specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound SMART.
  • Regularly review your progress and adjust your actions as needed.
  • Consider what each success and setback teaches you about yourself.
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Final thoughts

Stopping self-rejection takes time and patience.

By integrating these strategies into your daily life, you can develop a deeper understanding of yourself, make more informed decisions, and slow the negative inner voice.

Embrace this journey with patience and curiosity, knowing that each step forward is a valuable part of your soul’s path.

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