Self Discovery: 3 Essential Questions You Need to Answer
Self discovery is uncovering your true self: the part of you that is still, quiet, and clear.
To get you started, here are 3 key questions to ask as a baseline for self-discovery.
3 Key Self Discovery Questions You Must Know the Answer To
These three self-discovery questions are the baseline for who you are and what your life is about. They are the beginning of finding yourself on your self discovery journey.
Am I a spiritual being?
This is a fundamental thing to know about yourself. Yes or no? Because if you own that you’re a spiritual being, it sets the stage for how you view everything in your life. I talk about that at length in my posts about spiritual guidance and the soul.
What am I most challenged by in life?
The failures, mistakes, and challenging situations are what we need to learn to evolve the soul. Pure and simple. So, your self discovery must include an understanding of where the pattern lies.
Are you challenged in relationships? Self-love? Self worth? Or, you’re not speaking your truth or using your voice? Afraid to step out?
What 3 things do I need to live fully?
This is key because your soul has specific things it’s meant to do in this life. Your journey to self-discovery will help you uncover what that is for you. So, in pondering this question sit with… what things must I do, accomplish, or experience that if I didn’t, my life would feel like it wasn’t lived fully.
Self discovery questions: Soul and Spirituality
As a spiritual being, you see your life as an opportunity to grow spiritually. If you’re a more soul-centered person as I am, you see life as an opportunity to evolve your soul.
Also, my material about the soul is NOT about religion or from a religious perspective.
I go into more detail on these questions in my post about How to Find Yourself Again. Self awareness has to include an awareness of your spiritual nature.
It’s a fundamental part of who you are!
Self Discovery Questions: Reflection
Self-reflection means looking within.
Self-reflection is talking with your inner self as an ongoing process. It’s not a one and done thing!
Self-reflection is key to the self discovery process and here are questions to ask yourself:
What do I want in this situation?
What do I need here?
Why does this bother me?
Why is this such a problem for me?
What am I learning here?
And to help you grow in self love, ask yourself these self love questions.
Self Reflection Questions: Relationships
Ask yourself these questions about you in relationships…
Are my needs being met in this relationship?
Are intimate relationships challenging for me?
Do I give more than I receive in relationships?
Why am I in this relationship… other than, I’m in love?
Self discovery means that you’re able to have an honest conversation with yourself where you explore your personal values and your authentic self.
Self-Reflection is Key for Personal Growth
From time to time, we have to stop, go within, and do some self questioning.
Otherwise, we’re oblivious about ourselves right?
If you’re a fan of The Office, then you know that Michael Scott famously has zero self-awareness. He has no clue about himself.
As you’re watching you’re thinking: I would never be so out to lunch.
As you’re reflecting on your life, create safe space for yourself. Meaning, leave your inner critic outside the door.
There’s no room for negative self-talk…. choose positive self-talk.
It’s important to do self exploration as part of personal growth. What might that look like?
Self-Discovery Questions: Goals and Dreams
A major part of self discovery is… what are your goals and dreams? What do you think about over and over and you want to make it happen?
Ask yourself these questions to help you…
What am I good at?
Treasures/What special gifts do you have?
That thing you’ve always been good at.
It comes naturally, you do it better than those around you, you feel really good about it.
You’ve been given these talents and gifts for a reason. Uncovering the reason is part of the self discovery journey.
What do other people say I’m talented at?
Sometimes, we can see ourselves more clearly through others. (Only the good stuff). So, those things people say: boy you’re such a good writer, you’re so creative, you’re so funny, you’re so organized…
Take that feedback and give it some thought. You might be missing a skill or gift or yours that others see clearly.
What do I love doing?
Some things we love doing are will always be hobbies, they aren’t meant to be our life’s work. For example, you may love swimming, but you’re never going to be an Olympic swimmer.
Look for the things you love to do that you can become an expert at. This world loves expertise. So get good at something!
Find something you love… and become really great at it.
Self Discovery Questions: Self-Knowledge
Self knowledge is a wide-ranging topic because we are multi-faceted beings with so much to know! Here are some self-discovery questions to help you zero in on where makes you feel most alive.
What are you passionate about?
Please write about it from the heart, what is it about it that makes you feel so strongly about it? And if it’s not a passion, ask: What do I enjoy?
What did you have prior knowledge about?
What knowledge do you have that you had BEFORE you really tried to know it? Like it came naturally. Something you just KNEW ABOUT without any reason you’d know about it.
A time in your life when you felt most alive and why?
Aliveness is a wonderful things to feel and strive for. So ask yourself… when do I feel most alive?
What was happening that was so energizing for me?
Why is Self-Discovery so Important?
We have many dimensions to who we are: We are not one thing or one person?
And no one wants to be put into a box.
Multiple intelligences were first developed by Dr. Howard Gardner in 1983 to give us another multi-dimensional way of seeing ourselves clearly.
In working with clients for over 25 years as a life coach, I’ve created these five areas where we can go on our self-discovery journey.
Emotional
What emotions come up a lot for you? For example, anger, fear, insecurity…
How do you handle them? Do you feel or repress them? Meaning, how emotionally intelligent are you?
Are you really emotive or more stoic? No one knows what you’re feeling!!!
Temperament
We are born with a temperament. It is not learned. Here are the five aspects of temperament. And they are on a continuum, not one or the other.
Spiritual
Are you very religious and it’s a major part of who you are… or not religious at all, but very spiritually curious.
And then it comes to the key question I ask above: Do you consider yourself a spiritual being MORE than a human being?
As a spiritual being, you see your life as an opportunity to grow spiritually and each challenge is part of that self discovery process.
Physical
Take a look at how comfortable you are with your body, how you look, how you perform in physical activities.
Are you really into your physicality? Or not so much and you are more cerebral…
Mental
Do you love mentally, intellectually challenging yourself? Do you love to use your brain?
Do you overthink things?
Do you love problem solving?
These are all good things to know for self discovery, so you can lean into your strengths.
Self-awareness
Self awareness is being aware of yourself in all of the areas I discuss above.
One area I didn’t mention is work life balance. I’d define work life balance as: Giving enough time and attention to your career path or job as well as your personal life.
This is a balancing act for sure!
One important thing to bear in mind is that in your daily life, that balance will change!
One day you’ll spend more time with work, while another you’ll not think about work and devote yourself to self-care or self discovery!
That’s ok!
So, ask yourself: Do I have a good Work life balance? Many of us give so much of ourselves to our work, then home life is neglected.
Or, the opposite, we are so focused on having fun or our personal lives, that we aren’t succeeding in our jobs. Part of self awareness is evaluating your balance between your work and personal life.
Who is your true self? As a soul coach I would argue that your true self is what’s in the soul, the part of you that is still and eternal.
Final Thoughts
Self discovery and self exploration is a life long journey to being your most authentic self.
For many of us, we wonder: What is my authentic self?
That’s what self discovery is… uncovering your true self: the part of you that is still and quiet and clear.
And while it’s a lifelong process, it’s a beautiful one.
My life’s work is about authentic self expression that comes from the unique soul. Begin there and let it guide you.
