Soul Lessons: 7 Mistakes You Make Over and Over Again

soul lessons, soul purpose

Do you keep repeating the same mistakes over and over in your life?

You choose the same avoidant men, you hide your true self, you’re afraid to try new things?

It is part of your soul purpose to learn and grow. Specifically, soul lessons are what your soul needs to learn.

As a soul coach, I’m passionate about the soul and how it shows up in this life.

You want to how what your soul is here to learn?

This article will help you recognize which lessons might apply to you. Good for you for going deeper into the world and yourself.

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7 Soul Lessons

Here are some of the lessons that I’ve personally dealt with and so have clients of mine. It’s not a complete list.

  • Not speaking your truth
  • Being a victim
  • Not being able to forgive yourself
  • Rescuing and trying to fix others
  • Not being self-sufficient
  • Not having enough confidence
  • Being unable to stick with the process
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What is a soul lesson?

First, the soul is the eternal part of you that holds the outline of what is possible in your life.

As Elizabeth Lesser writes in her best selling book, Broken Open: How Difficult Times Can Help Us Grow

“The soul comes to earth to learn lessons, not to get married or stay married, or to take this job or that job…. The question,” she said leaning closer to me

Is what lesson does your soul want to learn? Do you know?”

That line is amazing. Read that book!

The soul is here to learn lessons and grow.

A soul-centered life is about seeing your life through this lens.

To better understand what you’re here to learn, you can connect with your soul.

A soul lesson is what the soul needs to learn throughout its many lifetimes.

So our mistakes, though painstaking, are opportunities to learn a soul lesson to evolve the soulYou can turn to your spirit guides to help you along the way.

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7 Lessons for the soul

Part of your soul’s purpose is to learn in a human body.

To see how soul lessons are showing up in your life, here are some soul lessons I’ve experienced personally or I’ve had life coaching and executive coaching clients experience.  Again, this is not a complete list.

1. Not speaking your truth 

You’re not saying what your true self really thinks or feels.

Some of us are afraid to say how we really feel, what we really think.

We’re hiding because we don’t want to be rejected or look foolish. Our focus is too much on needing approval from others and belonging

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2. Being a victim 

Full disclosure, this is a soul lesson of mine. I guess I lived many lifetimes in spiritual seclusion or monasteries.  This is what I’ve read and surmised:)

Victim energy is a prevalent energy that many of us are working through. To recognize it look for attitudes of..

Why does this always happen to me?

Giving up too easily.

Blaming others and yourself.

Shaming others and yourself.

Ego centered (this is a lot of people and the ego issue is more complex than just caring what other’s think.) 

This is a big one: not believing in your ability to create the outcomes you want

And, feeling constantly overwhelmed.

Victim Consciousness

There are three roles in the victim triangle: victim, rescuer, persecutor. With victim consciousness, you’re playing one of these three roles all the time. 

Creator Consciousness

You believe in your ability to create what you desire. According to David Emerald, author of The Empowerment Dynamic (TED).

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3. Not being able to forgive yourself 

You either did something in this life or in past lives that you haven’t forgiven yourself for. You’ve spent many years trying to forgive, but this wisdom eludes you!

Ultimately, you will have to forgive yourself so that your would will be in peace, and so that you can keep your heart open.

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4. Recusing and fixing others

If you would see me right now, you’d see that I’m raising my hand about this path.

Thankfully, this is way in the past. The universe has shown me time and again that we can’t rescue others.

We can support family and friends, but they must learn certain things on their soul path.

I used to try and rescue my sons, anyone who asked for help, and it was a waste of energy.

All souls must walk their own path.

All souls.

My sons. My mom. My friends… ME!

And when we attempt to rescue others, they don’t get themselves out of their own squabbles.

So, they don’t learn. They don’t have the healing they need to grow.

soul purpose

5. Not being self-sufficient

Are you unable to be self-sufficient in some area of your life?

An example would be with financially… but that’s not all!

How about mentally, emotionally, or physically?

For example, feel your emotions and work through them for greater healing.

Being able to solve your own problems.

Taking care of your body, mind, and spirit… nurturing it.

And, having relationships where you are independent, and so are they.

6. Not having enough confidence

No matter how much success you’ve had, do you still lack confidence?

If you avoid trying new things because you lack confidence you may have this lesson.

We grow confidence by doing and failing… doing and maybe failing.

But, we must jump in and participate in order to grow confidence.

Btw, lean on your spirit guides to help you in building confidence. I certainly do!

And, look for soul vibes in the world… anything that connects you with your spiritual nature or deeper aspects of you.

7. Being unable to follow the process

One of the key lessons I’ve encountered, is people who need to learn how to accomplish things by following the process.

This step leads to this step, and so on.

The people in this soul group, those who struggle with building things step by step, must learn how to create the results they want by following certain steps.

If you find you jump ahead in something you’re doing, and you haven’t done your necessary groundwork, you have have this lesson to learn for your personal and spiritual growth.

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Soul versus life lesson

What are soul lessons, and how do they differ from everyday life lessons?  

Soul lessons are what your specific soul needs to learn to grow and evolve.

Life lessons would fall under that and be more focused on what you’re learning on a human level. 

Isn’t easier to view our challenges through the lens of learning? Consider this…

You aren’t stupid… you’re just learning something new!  

This is self-love.

All of my repeated mistakes are just because I haven’t learned that thing yet. 

This is a repeated opportunity to do better at something in your life.

And self-love is a process.

What’s the difference? 

A soul lesson is more of a spiritual experience tied to your soul’s evolution. Think of it as spiritual development. It’s a deeper learning focusing on understanding and growth at a soul level

Whereas, a life lesson is a more practical learning experience gained through everyday living. 

Examples of a life lesson would be learning… 

  • Realizing how acts of kindness can positively impact others and oneself.
  • Discovering that failure is a part of learning and growth, not something to be feared.
  • How to have a healthy relationship with yourself.
  • Learning to take accountability for your actions. 
  • Being open to new ideas.
  • Accepting that change is a constant in life and accepting it. 
  • Understanding how to build and maintain positive relationships.
  • Recognizing the importance of self-care for physical health. 

Now, some of these JUST MIGHT BE lessons for you as well! They aren’t exclusive of one another! 

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It depends on what your soul is working on

For example, if your soul has a history of self-neglect and not taking care of the practical matters of life, you’ll have a soul lesson of needing to grow in self-love and take better care of yourself. 

You see how this could also be a life lesson?  

Soul lessons go deeper and longer:) 

Like anything with the soul… it involves depth, meaning, and personal truth. 

Self reflection, as a regular practice, is part of learning soul lessons.

soul lessons

Human beings want answers

In the middle of our angst, losses, and grief, we search for answers. Especially spiritual ones. 

This is how I felt when my husband passed away years ago, way too young and way too soon. I was lost

I wanted answers. 

For me, answers came in the form of greater self-love that was founded in the soul. I talk about that at length here. 

General Life Lessons

Here are some general life lessons that most of us need to learn. As you are on a path of self discovery, you uncover your life lessons.

Embracing Change 

Learning to accept change is important in life. Why? Because life is constantly changing.

Embracing change teaches us resilience and helps us to understand that life is a series of chapters and new vantage points.

Each stage has its unique wisdom to teach us. 

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Forgiveness, both of others and of ourselves, is a profound lesson as it frees us in ways we can’t imagine. 

Medical Intuitive, Carolyn Myss tells us that forgiveness heals us, physically and mentally.  

Wanting Connection

Realizing our interconnectedness with others and the world around us opens us up.  This creates a sense of unity and belonging. It helps us be less isolated. 

Most of us want at least one soul connection in our lives.

Learning Patience

We humans want things NOW. So, patience is a virtue right? 

Patience helps us allow life to unfold in divine time and order.

I wish I had a dollar for every time I’ve said to myself: In divine time and order. 

This high-vibe thought reminds me to be patient. 

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Practicing Gratitude

Being grateful is essential to happiness. It’s a life lesson, soul lesson, lesson period! 

As we acknowledge and appreciate what we have, in the smallest, simplest degree, we evolve the soul.

Gratitude is transformative in life and having a 24/7 attitude of gratitude will shift your energy very quickly. 


Courage in this often scary world helps us be here! Courage creates resilience. This helps us to face challenges with more confidence.

Greater Self-Awareness

We grow as we become more self-aware. Otherwise, we’re like Narcissus who stared into the pond and could only see his reflection. We are part of something bigger

Our awareness of how we fit into the whole helps the soul grow. 

A high-vibe life is one of high self-awareness and expansive living.

Growing Compassion 

Compassion brings us closer to ourselves and others. 

Accepting that life is temporary

After my husband passed away I wrote a book about loss and finding yourself again.

This is the 6th principle in my book, The Butterfly Silhouette. Our time is quite short, regardless of our endeavor. 

That’s a sobering thought right? 

It’s both sobering and freeing that we are mortal.

The soul knows this when we act accordingly, savoring the preciousness of life, we grow the soul.

Pursuing True Happiness 

In the Art of Happiness, it tells us… we deserve happiness. Damn right! 

It’s a huge soul lesson to really believe that we deserve happiness, true happiness. 

Life is about learning and spiritual growth

As I mention briefly above, in the best-selling book Broken Open,  Elizabeth Lesser takes us on her very personal journey when her marriage is in crisis. 

Out of options, with nowhere to turn, her friend tells her about a psychic who comes highly recommended.

She travels to New Mexico, in the middle of nowhere, and visits the psychic.  The psychic lived in a trailer park and wore bright red earrings.

The psychic told her on page 11, “The soul comes to earth to live lessons.

Broken Open, soul lessons,

Final thoughts

Spiritual growth involves us learning lessons that help us have inner peace and contribute to making the world better.

These deeper lessons that we take forward from life to life, that impart deep wisdom, are part of our souls reason for being.

One of our purposes is to learn from the past, and we usually have two or three lessons that our soul must learn in this life.

By embracing what we need to learn, it brings us closer to understanding the mysteries of life as well as the greatest mystery… ourselves.

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