how to soul search

How to Soul Search: 8 Ways to Find What Lurks Beneath and Why it’s Important


Ever wondered what lies beneath the surface of you? That’s why we go soul searching.

In a world filled with distractions, the true essence of our being-ness often gets lost. Soul searching is the quest to uncover that essence, but where do we start?

I’m a soul coach with years of experience in helping individuals reconnect with their authentic selves.

You’re here because you crave a deeper connection with your innermost self.

This article promises to be your compass in the soul-searching voyage, offering insights and actionable steps to discover the miracles within you

What is soul searching?

Soul searching is the ongoing practice of going within, connecting with your soul, and discovering how to make the best use of your life. It is a deep desire to uncover your truths.

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How to do soul searching?

Soul searching isn’t a one and done kind of thing. You don’t do it once and you’ve figured everything out!

Instead, it’s the showing up for yourself each day. To soul search, do the following…

1. Create time

Create time in your week or day to be quiet. A busy mind and busy life does not allow time and space for finding answers. Give time to deep thought.

2. Set your intention

Soul searching begins with setting your intention to know yourself on a deeper level. All the parts of you.

3. Commit to be true to yourself.

It includes wanting to BE yourself. So, you’ll be guided to accept yourself and your true nature at some point. Self-acceptance is a big part of being a soulful person.

4. Grow self-acceptance

Soul searching involves accepting the mistakes, the weaknesses, the things you find unattractive, and the negative emotions, feelings, and shame. It’s all part of you. And often, our juiciest parts are in those places where we’re most vulnerable.

5. Ask deeper questions of yourself

Soul searching requires that you’re willing to go deep. You’re not in the shallow end! My favorite 3 key questions are below to help you identify core values.

6. Allow negative emotions

Negative emotions are feelings of guilt, shame, regret, anger, emotions that CAN disrupt your life. However, ALL NEGATIVE EMOTIONS must be felt for you to be free and have inner peace.

7. Watch for synchronicities

Synchronicities are meaningful coincidences that are placed on your path to help you find your way.

8. Stay with it…

Soul searching is a lifelong journey. Don’t rush to have all of the answers. Be patient with yourself and allow yourself to reveal deeper truths over time.

3 Soul Searching Questions to Ask

My soul searching journey began in my late 30s.

Happily, it’s continued as a part of my regular spiritual practice in addition to my commitment to life long soul care.

For me, spiritual practice is how I connect daily with something bigger and soul care is how I care for my soul.

We put so much stress on ourselves to figure things out. To know all of the answers.

I guess it’s dialed into our DNA to want to know everything about our life. To know our true nature.

However, on your quest, here are 3 self-discovery questions to ask yourself and a higher power depending on your belief system.

Who am I?
What am I here to give?
What am I here to learn?

Soul searching is not a science… it’s a squishy, bumpy, two-steps forward, one-step back road… and the road is paved with self-love.

We each have something specific we are meant to give in this life and specific lessons we are here to learn.

I write more about that here where I talk suggest giving what’s in your soul and healing your life.

Here’s additional information about soul-searching questions in my article After Any Loss, How to Find Yourself Again.

Even though your inner search may have nothing to do with losing someone or something else, the questions remain the same because it’s a time of digging deeper.

soul searching, soul

Soul Searching Activities

Soul searching is an intimate process that involves introspection and self-reflection. Here are some activities that can facilitate this journey:


Writing down your thoughts, feelings, and experiences can help you understand and process your emotions, identify your desires, and clarify your values.

Meditation and Mindfulness

Practices like meditation, mindfulness, or yoga can help you quiet the mind, focus on the present moment, and connect with your inner self.

Be out in nature

Spending time in nature, whether it’s a leisurely walk in the park or a strenuous hike, can provide a peaceful environment for reflection and inspiration.

There are many advantages of being in nature.

Creative Expression

Engaging in creative activities such as painting, writing, music, or dance allows you to express emotions and thoughts that might be difficult to articulate otherwise.

My article on How to Express Yourself will help you find soulful ways to express yourself creatively and emotionally.

Reading and Learning

Immersing yourself in books, particularly books for personal growth, spirituality, philosophy, or psychology, can offer new perspectives and insights.

As we grow in knowledge, we feed the soul!

Reflection and Retreats

Experiencing new ideas or attending retreats focused on personal development can expose you to different ways of living and thinking, aiding in self-discovery.

Soul Searching: Why is it important?

Your soul has a reason for being here and you want to know the reason.

What do you need in this life? Not want… but, need!

And that’s just for starters.

When I began my soul searching journey in my 30’s, I was dissatisfied in my job.

I was feeling lost.

I was selling computers for a great company and paid lots of money to do it, but at the end of each day I felt bored and empty.

Now, this doesn’t mean that every time you feel bored and empty, it’s time to quit your job!

It doesn’t mean that!

Because many entry level jobs aren’t thrilling to do.

But, what you’re looking for is this: Is this job teaching me what I need for what I want to do with my life? What am I learning that’s of value to me?

If I had focused there, it would have been an easier time in my life.

Yes, I was bound to leave that job eventually…

Because selling computers was not my destiny.

But, this job was an important stepping stone.

self love exercises, soul searching

When you feel lost

At the end of the day, most of us souls down here want to know the deeper meaning of life and where we fit into it.

Yea, we’re a bit lost in life until we’ve found our place in the world.

Wherever that is.

Whatever that is.

I was roaming around selling computers and I knew I wasn’t good at it. Plus, it didn’t use my greatest gifts of creativity and emotional expression.

Selling computers wasn’t where I was meant to serve humanity in the long run. Your soul needs you to show up for your destiny.

But, in the short run, it was perfect.

The universe and all of its helpers were moving me along my path to what I was meant to do.

So, I needed to be in that job because I learned about getting along with people, being organized, time management, leadership, recognition, how to sell myself, how to sell something technical, etc.

Bottom line, that job was a stepping stone.

A crucial one.

find yourself again, spend time, soul
The 2012 Festival of Books at the University of California

There’s a plan for your life

The reason this is important for soul searching is that… your soul is eternal, it never dies, and you are a spiritual being.

You know the saying, I’m a spiritual being having a human experience.

So, your soul search must be along those lines.

Ask a different question and you’ll get a different answer!

Ask God, Source, Universe, Nature…

And who do you ask during your soul searching?

Depending on your religious or spiritual beliefs, ask your higher self and a higher power.

Your higher self is connected to a higher power.

The higher self is the part of your soul that is pure, directly connected, and knows the right path for you.

It knows your soul’s purpose, and most of us have many.

Instead of focusing on, what is my purpose, ask: What am I here to give and learn?

While the answer may not come quickly or easily, the question will guide you to the right path.

Self-love and Soul Searching

Soul searching involves being honest with yourself. And to be honest with yourself, you must feel safe.

As your soul searching begins, practice self-love at every turn.

So that you feel safe with yourself in everyday life.

So that in times of inner stillness, you don’t feel judged.

Aren’t we judged enough in life?

Yes, we are!

soul searching, soul search, spiritual practice, how to soul search

Synchronicities: The Little Miracles

The synchronicities in your life are guiding you to your destiny. So as part of your soul searching journey, notice and say thank you for the synchronicities that happen.

Synchronicity Meaning

Synchronicity means meaningful coincidences. When you’re about to say: That’s a coincidence! But, in this case, it’s not.

Synchronicities are one significant way that the universe helps you along your path. This is very helpful if you’re on a quest to uncover your soul!

So, as you’re soul searching, notice the synchronicities!

Notice when something happens… showing you that a higher power is guiding you.

Because you are being guided to YOU! To greater understanding, learning, and expression.

It’s not just a coincidence or an accident.


In The Power Of Awakening, Wayne Dyer writes, “I live in a perfect universe, where there’s a synchronicity and no coincidences. Everything that happens does so for a reason, and I am here to learn from it. Forgiveness is a way of life.”

That’s a very bold statement, and I don’t necessarily agree that there are no coincidences.

And frankly, I wouldn’t argue for that. But, it doesn’t really matter to me.

What does matter, is being able to recognize the magic in this life.

Synchronicity is absolutely magical.

Let’s suffice it to say that synchronicities can be a regular occurrence in life and if we don’t recognize them, we’re ignoring how intricately connected we are to this universe.

If the conscious mind doesn’t buy it…

But, your unconscious just might!

What’s happening with Synchronicities?

Synchronicities refer to when a higher power is guiding, supporting, and comforting you to help you on your way.   

This could come in many forms. Here, I write about soul guidance and how we’re being guided all the time.

Part of the guidance is performed by dropping beautiful synchronicities onto our path.

God’s helpers might drop one. Your spirit guides might. Your deceased loved ones might.

We live in a complex universe with tons of help coming from a variety of sources.

And these helpers point us to a God.

These helpers point us to ourselves.

Keep a Synchronicity Journal

As you open yourself the constant and ever-present guidance that is available to you, you will see the many ways you are being supported and guided.  This journal is a reminder of this so you don’t forget.  

Journaling is a very important practice during soul searching.

It’s also a way for you to consciously receive this guidance and tell the universe: Thank you for watching over me and guiding me. I am receiving your guidance.

journaling, journal

Carl Jung and Synchronicity

Carl Jung said, “Synchronicity is the coming together of inner and outer events in a way that cannot be explained by cause and effect and that is meaningful to the observer.”

Meaningful to the observer.

Meaningful to the one who is experiencing it.

Synchronicities are Gifts

David Richo, author of Unexpected Miracles: The Gift of Synchronicity and How to Open it, says, “Synchronicity is a term used by Carl Jung to describe coincidences that are related by meaningfulness rather than by cause and effect.”

David Richo is a visionary in my opinion and according to his website, he’s also a psychotherapist, teacher, workshop leader, and writer.

And obviously, he’s interested in synchronicities.

He also wrote The Power of Coincidence: How Life Shows Us What We Need to Know where he says, “We do not create our destiny; we participate in its unfolding. Synchronicity works as a catalyst toward the working out of that destiny.”

I absolutely agree with and love the idea that the universe is working with us in the fulfillment of our destiny.

Finding yourself

Finding yourself and fulfilling your destiny is the main idea in my book, The Butterfly Silhouette, as well.

I wrote this book after my husband passed away, so it was also about finding yourself gain after loss.

My heroine caterpillar does not believe in herself, she doesn’t believe she can be a butterfly, but it’s her destiny.

On the quest to her destiny, she is guided, pulled, loved, and at times heartbroken.

The synchronicities along her journey are throughout, as this story parallels my own.

Actually, my caterpillar is soul searching and her quest represents my personal experience.

Except that I’m human… and not a wormlike insect.

When You Have a Life Altering Experience

After my husband passed away, one synchronicity after another became my daily life.

I’d be thinking surrender, and I’d turn on the TV and Oprah was doing a show on surrender.

I’d pick up a book that I normally wouldn’t read, and it would be exactly what I needed. As though my husband or my guides set it in front of me to read.

Personally, I feel my spirit guides around me often, watching over me. Not in a creepy way, but in a reassuring way.

Then, one of the biggest synchronicities of my life was when my husband visited me in a dream.

Dream Visitations

A dream visitation is not just a dream. It’s a visit from beyond.

And when it first happened to me, I didn’t believe it.

So, what prompted me to look into it further? Why didn’t I just pass it off as a dream?

There was a quality to the dream that was unlike any dream I’d had before.

I remember googling: Dreams that feel like they really happened.

Example of a dream visitation

In my search, I found that others had a similar experience where the dream is so vivid, so clear, and their loved one who’d passed is speaking to them.

In each case, the deceased loved one was conveying a clear message. When the person woke up from the “dream”, they had a strong sense of being directly spoken to by their loved one.

Ultimately I found, The Dreamer’s Book of the Dead: A Soul Traveler’s Guide to Death, Dying, and the Other Side by Richard Moss.

His book described my “dream” experience perfectly.

It was deeply profound to understand what had happened in my night’s sleep and to be validated. No, I didn’t just dream that… it was a visit from the other side of the veil.

When you have a life-altering experience like this, it changes the way you view daily life. It strengthens your sense of spirit.

Plus, it connects you to those who aren’t here in body, but they’re with you.

self love exercises

Synchronicity Versus Guidance

Technically, we don’t think of dreams as synchronicities… we don’t say, boy that’s a coincidence that I ran into my husband in my dream last night.

Because it’s normal to dream about people we love.

For me, it’s guidance when spirit is involved.

And after the dream, a series of events happened that were more cause and effect.

For example, the dream visit happened, then I looked high and low for books on dream visits.

I was guided to understanding the after life. I never thought, this is a coincidence.

I knew it was guidance.

Final thoughts

Ultimately, we wish to find our true selves

And that’s why we search within our souls. We want truth. We want answers.

Yet, we don’t always know how to go about it. This article lays out a roadmap for how to go soul searching.

And, while you are soul searching, stay open to what your soul needs to learn and give.

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