Maybe your gut is all wrong.

Maybe your gut is all wrong.

If you’ve been feeding your gut a steady diet of fear, then, maybe your gut is all wrong.
It takes grit.
However, how do we KNOW what we can trust?
Good question.
I have no idea.
Email me when you have the answer.
OK, not really…
So, here’s the answer:
You know what you can trust once you know who the hell you are.
Then, your inner knowing will be accurate. It really will.

SURVIVOR

I love the show Survivor.
There might even be an intervention performed by my sons because of how much I love this show.
There are 40 seasons.  Please don’t ask how many I’ve watched.
And I wish I had a dollar for how many of the players say:
I trust my gut.
I can ALWAYS trust my gut.
And then they get this all knowing look on their face like they know something we don’t.
Like they’re somehow anointed.
Then, they’re usually wrong.
Their gut was WAY off.
Like 99% of the time.
Yet, they believed their gut was SO right.
Give me a break.
However, it’s not totally their fault.
Society tell us: Trust your gut.
If you trust your gut, you’ll have the keys to the kingdom.
Not true.  Total BS.
Because what if your gut is one step from IBS?
(irritable bowel…)
What if your gut has been fed a steady diet of sugar and red meat?
Can you trust THAT gut?
NO YOU CAN’T.
You can’t feed your gut total garbage… and assume it’s all knowing.

WHEN CAN YOU TRUST YOURSELF?

However, we can trust ourselves when we’re true to ourselves.
Regularly.
Not just Saturday afternoons.
Show up for you.
Choose yourself, as James Altucher would say.
If you’re putting in constant FEAR, please don’t trust your gut. 
Seriously.
So in summary…
You can trust yourself, and your gut, when you know who the hell you are.
And let the finding of you be as fun as the seeking.
First, be lost.

First, be lost.

First, be lost, then you can be found.
Either a little lost or very lost.
In one area of life or in every facet of your life.
And, like every other person who helps people, I solve this problem, because this was my problem.

It takes one to know one.

Except that I never used the word lost.
And, forgive me if you don’t identify with that word either.
But I didn’t know who I was… really.
And I didn’t know where I was going… at all.
Plus, there was something deeper, an inner hunger I didn’t understand.
But, so what.
Having all of the answers is way overrated.
It’s kind of beautiful, not knowing all the answers.
It’s a relief actually.
Just kick back and say: I don’t know.
I’m lost on this one.

I’m lost on this one.

What a great jumping off point.
If you feel a longing in your belly.
And a drive for something you don’t understand.
Plus, a deep desire for expression and leadership.
Then lean in.
Go walk on coals with Tony Robbins.
If he does that anymore.
Or go to every denomination of church or synagogue in your city.
And read everything you can find to shed some light on what’s true for you.
Go for it.
Then, what transformation occurs?
You go from confusion to knowing who you are and what you need.
Who are you?

Who are you?

Sitting here at my laptop after rearranging my office for the third time this year, I’m picturing Meg Ryan in You’ve Got Mail. 
She had a cool desk arrangement.
I wanted to sit at that desk.
So finally, I have my desk looking all cute and thrown into the middle of the room in a decorator kind of way.
Where I will hopefully begin typing amazing words that express what’s in my heart.
But, getting it right takes time.
Anyway, we all experience an authenticity crisis at some point in life.
Usually around age 40.
Or later.
And for some of us (ME)… it revisits quite often.

THREE AUTHENTICITY CRISIS QUESTIONS

This crisis boils down to 3 questions:
1.  Who am I?
Or, who the hell am I?
(Hell is added when we’re seriously doubting things.)
2.  What am I doing here?
Or, what the hell am I doing here?  
And here’s the where the rubber meets the road question:
3.  Will my life measure up to what I thought it would be?
That’s an authenticity crisis right there.
It’s a brave question to ask.
Because for now, this is the one life you’ve got.
And the very idea of not living fully…
Well, it’s a horrible idea right?
No one wants to think their life was a waste.
Or under-lived.
Like you didn’t experience what you were CAPABLE of.
It’s why the Leo Tolstoy story I wrote about a couple weeks ago is so chilling.
So, for you, so that your life IS lived fully…
Expressed fully.
And you’ll walk your truth by being true to your soul.
What do you think about ALL the time?

What do you think about ALL the time?

Are you fulfilling the promise of your life?
Meaning, are you showing up for yourself?
That means…
Self-respect for what you feel compelled toward.
Yes, compelled.
That thing you think about ALL the time.
How many more years will you think about it?
Yes, life gets in the way.
So we say.
However, is there ever a good reason to keep yourself parked on the bench?
I don’t think so.
Actually, it’s a resounding: NOPE.
Your soul is the truest part of you…
And life needs to conform to what your soul is here for.
Your soul is here to love and be loved.
Your soul is here to serve.
Join the Midlife Truth Challenge and spend a little coveted time identifying what’s true for you.
If you don’t carve out the time… you won’t do it.
Human nature says that we will continue to avoid ourselves.
Sadly.
So, show up for yourself and your soul.
Are parts of you sitting on a shelf?

Are parts of you sitting on a shelf?

Elton John sings…
Look in the mirror and stare at myself,
And wonder if that’s really me on the shelf.
Are parts of you left on a shelf…
Ignored, and you’re wondering:
What the hell?
When did that happen?
Why am I leaving it there?
What is going on with me that I’m allowing this?
When my 40 something self heard that song, I thought all of those things.
My inner poet… on a shelf.
My sadness… on a shelf.
My femininity… roaming in the woods.
Helping humanity… on a shelf.
The leader in me… ditto.
Why do we ignore parts of ourselves?
There’s only one reason, and you know what it is.
Self-doubt.
Oh, and fear.
And maybe laziness.
And tiredness.
Ok, that’s 4 reasons…
And all legit.
Fearing you won’t, you can’t.
That the universe doesn’t care what you do.
That you don’t have what it takes.
“You can’t have it all.”
Other people are doing it better…
Ugh.
But, here’s the thing…
When you ignore key parts of yourself, You’re not being true to yourself.
If part of you is on a shelf…
Only you can pick it up and take it off the shelf.
You don’t have to do somersaults with it.
Just give it your attention for crying out loud.
Do something.
Because if you don’t, your life will feel OFF.
It takes a lifetime for some of us to express the truth within us.
I have much more I want to do and be.
How about you?
Either in your relationship or in service to this aching world.
Please don’t ignore key parts of yourself.
Because true joy comes from being true to all the sides of you.