Christiane Northrup, M.D. is helping us understand how we can evade energy vampires.
I’m grateful because this topic comes up A LOT in my work as a soul coach. The power of thought and how negative thinking is literally killing people is the main theme in my futuristic book, The Thought Store.
Have you ever walked away from someone feeling blah or angry or anxious, and wondering what the heck happened?
And then you’re wondering how you got sucked in?
Because, the subject people seem to be bothered by, more than any other subject, is other people.
We can’t live with them, can’t live without them!
Can’t live with them … can’t live without them! ?
Other people is the number one reason people leave their jobs.
And sometimes, only sometimes … those “other people” are energy vampires.
Christiane Northrup’s best selling book: Dodging Energy Vampires: An Empath’s Guide to Evading Relationships that Drain You and Restoring Your Health and Power,
talks about this issue in depth.
And hey … we’ve all had bad days or months. Quite honestly, when my husband passed away, I wasn’t fun to be around for years.
It was tough, and I had to nurse my wounds for a long time.
But, do you have someone you’ve known forever and you feel drained by the relationship?
Or maybe you’ve known them for a short time, and you didn’t realize they were slowly draining the life out of you?
If you want a harmonious and fun life, this includes NOT allowing yourself to be drained by other people, even if you feel badly for them.
Thoughts to empower you.
You can affirm:
I love you, I forgive you, I’m letting you go.
I deserve peace.
I am only allowing peaceful relationships in my life.
I allow myself to protect my energy.
When I feel drained, I will take a look at what’s happening.
I am committed to being around good energy.
I am attracted loving, responsible, caring, empowered people into my life.
I am letting you go.
The power of the pause is a simple technique for being calm and less reactive with your spouse, your kids, your friends, your parents, the noisy neighbor, and the adorable teenager who refuses to clean out his car, etc.
Let’s say something happens that gets your temperature up! Someone says or does something annoying, disrespectful, oblivious … Oops sorry, I got carried away.
Anyway, you’re upset. Maybe your blood is starting to boil …
The moment this happens, use the power of the pause:
1. Think PAUSE – Just stop. This simple and seemingly tiny act of bravery is larger than you think. BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW IT’S REALLY HARD TO PAUSE WHEN OUR JUICES ARE FLOWING!
Pausing gives us a chance to slow down.
If your knee jerk reaction is to overreact, then pausing is a triumph in and of itself.
2. NAME WHAT YOU’RE FEELING AND BREATHE – Simply notice what you’re feeling and name it. For example: I’m mad. I am hurt. I feel like crying. (Said to yourself or out loud.)
3. Keep breathing deeply and gently until you feel better and calm enough to address the situation.
NAME IT TO TAME IT
He teaches parents how to coach their children when the children are upset.
The principles apply to adults as well. When we name an emotion, the brain sends soothing neurotransmitters to the limbic system, the part of the brain that wants to run away.
Soothing … I love the sound of that.
For instance, when a child is scared, just naming it and saying: I’m scared, helps her calm down.
The more accurate you can be in naming the emotion, the better the result.
That’s why it helps for parents to be in tune with their children, to help them name their emotion.
Being able to stay calm in the storm isn’t easy.
However, as we care for our deeper needs, we feel calmer and more steady.
That’s all for now … I’ll be following up with more about how you can let your calmer, steady side prevail.
Lately, I’ve been thinking of all the mothers who have younger children at home during Covid.
Younger through teens years anyway.
And … YOU ROCK! Seriously, you mom’s rock.
I used to hyperventilate over how to occupy my kids for a measly summer … and this is a very long summer.
So, sending you our admiration and respect!
This pandemic has affected ALL 7.8 billion of us … and in different ways.
It’s certainly a challenging time.
It is what it is.
For me, someone who REALLY DOESN’T like feeling stuck, I am looking at my life as creatively as I can.
So, I remind myself: It is what it is.
And this helps a bit.
Isn’t it funny how a trite phrase can soothe my mind?
Why does this five word sentence feel good?
Because in that moment, I am not resisting what is happening.
This is not throwing in the towel. For me, it’s kind of the serenity prayer:
Help me change what I can, accept what I can’t …
And then I notice … how MANY people are really kind right now.
The kindness of people
The kindness of people has reached a very high level.
I hear all around me:
Be safe. Be careful. Thinking of you. Thank you for being here. Thank you for your service. Are you OK?
And that’s cool.
Therefore, while I am not diggin’ this at all, I accept it week by week and keep my thoughts positive for the future.
So our young people aren’t inundated with pessimism.
Because pessimism is like air pollution.
So, when the ATT agent accidentally disconnects our call for the 7th time, since they’re working from home and have questionable phone service …
I think: It is what it is.
And I call again 3 days later after I’ve calmed down. (Even though I’ve lost 7 hours from my life.)
Thoughts to clean the air
At a minimum, I can avoid polluting the air around ME. Some thoughts that help:
We are not alone in this.
I am grateful for this, this and this.
Oh, and I’m grateful for BLANK. (I know we’ve had this idea drilled into our heads, But truly … Gratitude instantly raises our energy.)
This is temporary.
I will not jump ahead in my thoughts.
I’m doing the best I can today.
Sending a very big hello to you and hoping you’re safe and doing ok …
I believe life is in the daily rituals. The saying is actually, Life is in the details … but I like the word rituals.
It’s the rituals we do each day … that add up to our life.
Ritual – an act regularly repeated in a precise manner.
What do I love about rituals?
They connect me to my spirit and something bigger.
And that feels amazing.
The rituals I’m talking about …
- Daily prayers, mantras, affirmations.
- Checking in with myself emotionally.
- Letting go … repeatedly.
- Other rituals I LOVE.
Rituals are something I can COUNT on.
I love things I can count on.
Especially now …
It’s what I did DAILY that literally transformed my life.
Now, they are so much a part of my daily routine that I don’t have to think about them.
My rituals are waiting there like a cozy couch.
A TYPICAL DAY.
Wake up > Say gratitude prayer. > Breathe > High vibe mantras. > Say I love you a few times (a great high vibe thought) > Roll out of bed. > Drink the best coffee ever. > Be quiet. > Affirmations > Eat something with salsa. > Do work I enjoy. > Remind myself I’m OK. > Exercise: 4 sit-ups > Ask myself how I feel. > Release uncomfortable emotion. > Be mindless for awhile. > Do work I enjoy. > Do some work I don’t enjoy, but accept. > Breathe > Eat Biscotti. > Surrender > Gratitude… REPEAT.
Now, do I also think negatively at times, worry a bit, be lazy, and eat food that will never biodegrade in my lifetime? SURE I DO!
However, it’s the 80/20 … or the 90/10 … or the 70/30 I don’t know!
Life is in the rituals
… so, for the sake of enjoying your life, choose rituals that empower you and bring you peace.
When my kids were young, what I list above would have sounded impossible, but honestly, 90% of what’s listed above …. were totally possible!
Find what works for you and gives a nice flow to your day.
And most of all … that remind you of your 24/7 connection to yourself and something bigger than you.
I need something to help me flatten the curve …
Remember being a kid in the backseat of your parents car and your family was driving somewhere and you’d ask: Are we there yet?
You’d ask every ten minutes and your parents would say: Not yet!
Remember that feeling of: Is this drive over yet?
Is this over yet?
THEN, my son who lives in New York, and yes, it’s mayhem there; he sends me a Public Service Announcement from the Office of the Governor of California he saw on Twitter about Flatten the curve …
In it is Julia Louis-Dreyfus
(Seinfeld, Veep, etc.) and she’s putting on her own make-up because her make-up staff is staying home and being safe.
So, she’s putting red lipstick all over her face because she’s never applied her own make-up!
It’s so funny …
Flatten the curve.
I was laughing out loud at how funny she looks applying this clown-like make-up and asking us to please STAY HOME to help flatten the curve.
Yet … I’m getting the message.
I know I need to dig in deep and get my second wind.
Even though I want this thing to be OVER, I must be part of flattening this curve!
Therefore, I am gaining my second wind.
Thank goodness for second winds.
We have this incredible ability to feel tired, pissed off, and DONE, and then wake up the next day and say:
And in case your spirit is a bit frail lately, just know that you too have that second wind within you.
Built into our DNA!
This second wind ability is built into our DNA.
We are made to withstand … life.
Then one day, hopefully sooner than later, we’ll be among one another again.
And we won’t spit in each others faces when we talk.
We will give each other plenty of personal space and respect:)
Oops, I’m getting ahead of myself.
For now … it would be enough to feel a light and breezy second wind.
Wishing that you and your family are safe.