Soul Crushing… Why It’s Brutal and 3 Things To Do Now

soul crushing

Soul crushing is how it sounds… something is happening that feels as though your innermost self is being deeply and sadly ignored.

It’s a horrible feeling when an integral part of you is not being nourished, acknowledged or listened to.

As a soul coach, I’ve helped thousands of people around the world be true to their innermost selves.

You’re looking for ways to navigate soul crushing situations in your life. Whether it’s a job, personal obligation, or other hurtful situation.

This article will help you understand what soul crushing really means and how to navigate those situations in your life.

The only wrong path… is the one where you hide yourself.

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What does soul crushing mean?

The dictionary defines the term “soul destroying”… over soul crushing.

Is soul crushing too touchy feely for Merriam Webster?

Merriam Webster defines soul destroying as causing a person to feel very unhappy or depressed.

I’ll take it one step further… it’s crushing to the soul when a person feels that a vital part of them is being ignored or hidden.

The soul knows!

While this may sound melodramatic to some, if something is truly soul crushing… it’s brutal.

Crushing is when you just can’t do it because it conflicts too much with your true nature… with who you are.

Emphasis on inner conflict.

Crushing means you’re losing yourself because what is most important to you, like your sense of self and your deepest values are being ignored.

happiness, soul crushing, soul destroying
The soul will wilt if you ignore it!

How to navigate a soul crushing situation

You have three things you can do in a situation that feels like a significant and vital part of you is being ignored, is hiding, or is dormant.

1. Take action

If you’re clear about what’s missing and what’s not self-fulfilling, then take action.

Decide what to do next.

What actions feels good to you?

And if you can’t act now, decide to put a plan in place.

Summon the courage to be true to yourself and act on a soul level. You have the ability, the power, and everything you need to fulfill your deepest longings.

You’re built that way. We all are.

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2. Do the personal work

If you’re lost or confused about a situation that feels soul depleting, then embrace the inner work to be done.

Most of us have been there! I certainly have.

You want your life to align with your own values.

My post on When You’re Lost, How to Find Yourself Again is the perfect starting point. I list four stages to finding your true self.

And, you must be authentic.

There’s infinite wisdom in the universe to guide you along your path.

The only “wrong path” is the one where you hide yourself.

We love it when we feel we’re doing something that uses our gifts and makes the world better.

In addition, it’s important to do self-care, personal growth, and soul care.

Jeanne Nangle soul coach

Soul crushing meaning

When a person feels that a significant and vital part of them is being ignored, or they’re hiding an important aspect of their being.


NOTE: Please visit each link above for more info. I go into more detail in these articles so you’ll have the steps you need to care for your innermost needs.

three things, opinions expressed,  happiness,

3. A soul crushing job

This is an entire subject in and of itself, knowing when to change jobs.

Betterup.com has this helpful article, Should I quit my job? 5 reasons it may be time to resign. The article includes Bad reasons to quit your job as well.

Just because you don’t like your job, it doesn’t mean you should leave it. There are many considerations when evaluating if you should leave a job.

For example, maybe you’re learning patience or tolerance? And it’s worthwhile to stay as you learn this.

Of course, overall, you want to feel challenged and like you’re contributing something helpful.

Even if you’re making hamburgers and you are learning skills you can use later…

Maybe you’re making someone’s day better in some small way.

Possibly, you’re helping your family in a way that’s rewarding and satisfying.

But, at the end of the day, you must walk the path of your soul, for what you’re meant to learn, not to appease friends or family.

Nothing is worse than feeling like your life is all wrong. Please see my article on your true self where I talk briefly about Leo Tolstoy’s, The Death of Ivan Ilyich.

At the end of Ivan’s life he wondered… was my life all wrong?

For me, there’s not a sadder example or a story that more clearly illustrates a soul being crushed.

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Crushing situations: personal and work

There are several situations in your personal life that can feel like your soul is being crushed.

Personal life

It’s soul destroying when you hide an integral aspect of your being like your…

Sexual preferences

Gender identity

Religious beliefs

Core values

Deepest wishes

You’ve been designed specifically as you are for a reason. Your life is not random. As a soulful person you must live according to the calling of your soul.

Be sure that you’re expressing yourself emotionally, mentally, and other ways in your life.

Work life

When a job feels like it doesn’t use your talents, gifts, and skills.

You’re not learning anything in the job that you can carry forward to your next job.

You’re doing it for the money, which is fine for awhile, but you hate it.

I was quoted in Forbes magazine on the importance of focusing on the potential ahead when changing careers.

“Jeanne Nangle, an emotional well-being coach agrees that changing careers can be very unsettling. ‘Even a voluntary change can evoke a sense of loss for the familiar. Human beings are drawn to what’s familiar.’ She recommends allowing yourself time to appreciate the past, and then turning your attention to the growth potential ahead.”

When your job is soul crushing, it’s important to have a strong and optimistic mental strategy during a career change.

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Is your physical health at stake?

I hope you won’t allow your soul to be crushed.

It’s not only a “soul’s death”, it can be physically harmful because the body, mind, and spirit are connected.

When you feel that an integral part of you… your nature, your center, your soul, is compromised, you’ll feel your energy leave your body.

Low energy can result in depleting your health.

I hope you won’t do this… because it’s going against nature to ignore your soul.

Instead, take action.

When your soul is unfed, you’re being called to change things.

It’s probably soulfully important for your soul’s path.

how to stay true to yourself

Ways you fake it in your personal life

First, identify the situations in your personal life that feel like you’re not being yourself.

You’re faking it.

You say things you don’t mean to please others. You pretend to believe something you don’t.

You hide an important part of yourself.

Or, you’re pretending to be something you are not.

Or, pretending that you’re not something that you truly are.

Afterward, you feel like someone robbed your house. You know they were in your personal space and it feels like an invasion.

Sadly, this keeps your soul from evolving.

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Final thoughts

It’s crushing to us when we ignore the soul and our lives don’t align with what the soul needs.

I went from executive coach to life coach to soul coach because my soul had new things to learn.

However, each role was supportive, as I was learning something I needed.

A situation is crushing to the soul when you realize that a vital part of you is being ignored or under-utilized.

Look for soul vibes… anything that connects you with your soulful nature, to help you connect with this deeper part of you.

Soul destroying or crushing is when doing it feels consistently in violation of your core values, your soul’s calling, or what brings you joy and happiness.

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